Buggy Goes To UnCon or 'Ohh!! Matron!! I've got the bug!!'

Wednesday, 09 August 2000

Where The Bug travels nervously to the Big Smoke, and starts to contemplate death by luggage dragging.......

05.00 Hours: My Community Hospital.
Gawd!! Whadda night!! One new admission, usual array of bedpans and am trying hard to keep my eyelids peeled back. I haven't slept properly in five days, my heart is in my mouth and there is excitement mixed with fear and trepidation.

Why?

Because later on today I leave for Canada - Halifax, Nova Scotia to be  precise - for a little get together with fans of a programme called Lexx!! The fear comes into this because I bloody well HATE flying and if them whirly thingies in the engines stop spinning, the thing don't stay up!!! I needed time off midweek, so the deal is that I do these night shifts which gives me the necessary time off, and will return here ( I hope!! ) in a fortnight!!

So it is time to stop being Staff Nurse Nicholson  and ( runs in to the staff loo ) turn into......... BUGBOMB!!!!

08.05 am. Flying out of door after giving detailed handover to day crew - 'Buggers were breathing the last time looked. BYE!!!'  *Door slams*

13.15pm. Kissing David goodbye at the train. Awww...poor bugger!! We're going to miss each other badly I think..and to quote the MC from Brigadoom...it brings  a tear to our eyes. *SNIFF!!* . Ah well, there is the St.Agnes Steam Rally to prepare for weekend after next, and David will be having fun trying to finish his model of a steam engine and a  sctatch built dry back multi-tube boiler for the event....but will miss his Baaa ( *Don't Ask!!* )...Ok...Buggy..time to go...

13.50pm. Train well underway, waved at Hayle in a token gesture for Eve. Time to let the adventure commence!!

19.05 pm. Train landed safely at Paddington. I am being met by a lady called Arelette Thistle, a long term friend of my Mother, who is saving my life right  now. I was going to bunk down uncomfortably at Heathrow overnight, but this lady has very kindly offered me a bed. Now all we have to do is get my luggage to Baron's Court, which is quite a way from Paddington and involves changes and VERY steep stairs (no elevators or escalators of course) which is fun for an overweight, unfit asthmatic Bug and a lady with chronic heart disease!!

We get to Arelette's flat and have an interesting evening's chat. I do my best to explain Lexx to Arlette, but recognise the somewhat blank look on her face, so think better of it!! We have a nice meal where I promptly spill loads of low calorie salad dressing over myself. Damn!!! A quick rinse of me large T Shirt and I hope it will be dry by morning.

22.45 pm. Have had a hot bath, which helps soothe tired muscles, and I have  prayers for the Lord to let me have the courage to get on the plane the next day!! Told ya I hate flying!!!

Thursday, 11th August 2000.Where The Bug contemplates Death By Icelandair and narrowly escapes deportation: wonders where her luggage might be, almost ends up homeless in Halifax, and eventually finds a Shoe Shop.....

08.00am. I'm up, dressed and terrified!! But still manage to munch a good  breakfast. Arelette has offered to come to Heathrow with me, which is fab  because I am becoming increasingly nervous about getting on a plane!! We leave her flat at about 09.00, because I want to get checked in by 10 am.



Thursday, 10 August 2000.

The tube to Heathrow is interesting and we chat about family history, but I am all too aware of the airport looming closer. We get off at Terminal One, where I am due to take off at 13.00 hours. The place is in an uproar..sooo many people rushing about. We queue for ages to check my luggage in and then go have a drink. I am NOT hungry for a change. Eventually, I bid Arelette farewell and cross into the departure lounge..setting off the bleedin' alarm in the process! ( That ALWAYS happens!! ) So, I get pulled to one side and searched by a blonde woman who is even shorter than I am...and NOT by that nice David Duchovney look alike... Double Damn!!!!! Now, I have a million mile walk to my departure gate..looking nervously at the planes take off. Of course, mine is at  gate Sixteen Million and a half, but I get there eventually! I also study the other passengers, vowing not to ANYWHERE near the plane if there is ANYONE  remotely resembling a singing nun, cutesy sick child and a nervous looking chap clinging on to a briefcase......

13.00 BST...

land at Keflavik Airport at 15.40 local...landing a bit bumpy..but I am too terrified to notice...Iceland is a starkly beautiful place and I guess Reykjavik is as well..but all I see for two hours is flat volcanic rock..so I try to imagine I am on the Island of Hawaii instead..ok..back on the 'plane and go 

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! for the next 4 hours and 40 minutes. We seem to be taking ages to land at Halifax, but blessedly land about ten minutes late on the deck. I start worrying now, because Charmaine and husband Mike are kindly picking me up from the airport and they would have been travelling all day too..

18.50pm or so local. At bleedin' LAST! Now queue for AGES to get through Immigration, so here goes!!

Immigration Officer: 'Can I see your passport Ma'am..why are you travelling to Halifax..pleasure...Lexx...what's Lexx...eh...( That blank stare again...)...?'

Buggy: 'Oh yes...fabulous...dead assassin.....love slave.....security guard class four.....used to be an Ostral B heretic y'know.....then he had been sold for information...worked on the Cluster..that's before he unwittingly.......stole a giant.....insect and...er....heh...I'm staying at Shirreff Hall....ahem!!!

Immigration Officer looks at me..her eyes telling me that she is weighing up this mad happy fat woman. I panic inside, what if they turn me away!! Nope..she wants to get off work on time so she is letting me through. ( Ohh Thank You God!! )

Eventually, My suitcase tumbles precariously down the ramp on to the revolving thingy ( Mine always seems to be the last out! ) after a heart stopping eternity or two, wondering if it had been mis-directed to Outer Mongolia by mistake, but it hadn't. Kicking my opponents out of the way for that last trolley that goes anywhere except in a straight line, my eyes are fixed forward and I SHOOT through customs, then through a VERY narrow door.

19.35 pm( ish ) local: Eyes at the ready....now gotta look for a tall bald guy with a goatee. (Charmaine's description of her husband.. ), I peer intensely at the waiting crowd and spot a tall chap and a face I seem to recognise off Pat's piccys of drool sisters.. Charmaine and Mike are waiting...so at last I can BREATHE!!! They are my heros now, as we wind our way through the airport and make our way out. Mike is valiant enough to get my small but REALLY heavy suitcase in the back of their really cool jeep. Poor Charmaine gets stuffed in the back seat, between oceans of luggage. The drive to Halifax is fascinating!! All those pine trees, the driving on the wrong side of the road ( heheheheh ) lot's of happy chat then a heart stopping moment to see if we have the right turn off........

'Cos there is a bit of a situation here. Mike and Charmaine haven't been to Halifax before either...so trying to find South Street, where Shirreff Hall is situated, is getting difficult. We actually make it into town, but that's as far as it gets. Turning up a VERY steep hill, we pull up behind one of Halifax's Finest at a traffic light, Mike jumps out and goes up to the patrol car...startling the said Halifax Finest...and gets the required directions.

Mike comes back grinning. He used to be a policeman and it transpires if anyone did THAT to him, they would have been absolutely, positively, politely greeted with his gun...heheheheheh!!! Due South is right!! Canadian coppers are polite....

Then comes some negotiation of various traffic systems. South Street turns out to be loooonnnnnggggg!! No sign of Shirreff, so a quick turn to the Security Office at Dalhousie for more directions ( Mike is EXCELLENT at turning his motor on a dime it appears...). Then a few hundred miles or so down the road, there it  is on the right. Mike and Charmaine again valiantly help me up the stairs with my luggage. I say goodbye to Squish, the pet toy snake wrapped around the roll  bar on the driver's side, then to Mike and Charmaine as they go off in search of the camp site they are staying at. I think this is where I meet some other Lexxians, namely Muse, whom ends up going else where as there isn't a room for her!! My brain gets fuzzy here as I am so knackered from 10 hours flying and no sleep, so will apologise PROFUSELY for forgotten names....only to find my reservations are WELL messed up.

The receptionist at Shirreff is being harassed from all angles...so doesn't argue too much when a not-so-happy fat woman politely INSISTS she is not going to budge!! Lack of accommodation or no!!...That she booked the room an eternity before and paid two days deposit IN CASH, and had confirmed the booking by snail mail, email and by phone TWICE!! *Note to future Unconers...check DIRECTLY with the hall of residence about bookings prior to arrival..the conference booking off ice ain't too good at passing on the details....*

Anywhoosie, a room is found and I decant my kit there. 212 in Old Eddy wing is sparse but comfy and reminds me of my digs when I was a student nurse.

Right, quick change of togs...race down..taxi. I HAVE to find this Economy Shoe Shop, a pilgrimage no less heeehee! I might even find myself sat by the mirror His Michael-The-Gorgeousness was sat by at the last UnCon.

Eventually, we get into town. Halifax seems to have a large suburban sprawl which is wonderful. No one house is the same and all have either tiled or wood front, stucco I think it's called. It has that lovely laid back feel to it, and the down town area doesn't seem too imposing either..

The taxi drops me off near to Argyle Street, because of a one way system, it would cost me a further few $'s, so I thank the driver and make the short crossing to the shop. It's got dark by now, and I walk in and out of two door ways. This place AIN'T what I imagined it to be. Like the TARDIS, it appears VERY small on the outside. At first I think it's two separate bars next door to each other and cannot find the fabled mirrors, walking through the 'left hand' bar out the back, I find the place is HUGE, very crowded, but no one remotely appearing lexxish. I really begin to think I have arrived at the wrong place and am about to leave, when I find the fabled mirrors and pass out the door to the street side tables, there are a group of people, of one face I recognise from the last year's UnCon photos. I think...'hmmmm...give it a go...' and approaching with EXTREME caution I ask the question ' Does anyone here know a man called Stan?' A nano-second's worth of silence then...thank GAWD!! I've found 'em!! Eo is the one I spot ( thinking it's Fishbone!! My apologies to both...heheheheh!! ) then am swamped with Jinx, Shukaido, Polly, Kaisfem, Jihad, Sally,Cookie and Mitch, Knightstar, Amyzon and a whole cluster of Lexxians!! Again my apologies if I don't remember names.

Eventually, I meet MissJean, Muse, Kali, Devoted ( I didn't bring my camera that night!! ) Angie, Cass, Chic, DELLY!!!! Brian ( aww...my...GAWD!! Cap'n Tweedle himself shook my HAND!!! ) and Mary Elizabeth. The evening continues in a blur of meeting people including Darrow and Stardancer. I consume waaay to; much orange juice and munch on nachos, donated by a generous female lexxian, of whom I am VERY ashamed to say I cannot remember!!! ( possibly Polly?) Also meet  Jeremy Webb ( Master from Brigadoom ) and Gordon, the 2nd zombie from the  'Twilight' episode.

Now I'm convinced for a short while at least that the plane did crash and I am in heaven, but then yawning uncontrollably, I realise that I am HERE, this is REAL, I have MADE it!!! This is FABULOUS!! Brian has us in stitches when Muse asks for water...doing a great impression of Jihad, he gives a lecture on why he  never touches the stuff...something about fish shagging in it and the resulting fishy issue...heheheheheh!!! Then, eventually, Delly. MissJean, Muse, Amyzon and Misself leave for a wander down on the harbour front. We have a real girlie session, droolfest about His Gorgeousness The Michael, do the religious bit and sing ( albeit tunelessly...) The Brunnen G Anthem and wander about. I start my usual habit of inventing dirty ditties ( and can NEVER remember the words after..) As we stagger - er..stroll - about the water front. We find an all nite coffee shop ( gawd..now I KNOW I'm across the pond...!! }.

Halifax is BEAUTIFUL at night!! Although small by most city standards, the lights from the downtown buildings and skyline can rival those of Sydney and London and I try as much as possible to remember details, the girls are still up for a jaunt, so we finish up our drinkies ( I splurged and had...DECAFF!! Now as most of you know Coffee is OUT for me...but occasionally I sin and have a decaff!! Ohhhh...naughty!! ). And then, for some reason we decide to go Electropolis Studio hunting!! Now, no-one is sure just how far this wonder of wonders is, but it was known to be along the waterfront SOMEWHERE, so at about 02.00 am...we go a hunting' - as you do in a strange city !! We walk for what seems miles and miles...up hills...and I hate hills!! Now, being somewhat shattered from no sleep, I have difficulty with pronunciation ( And I WASN'T the only one chaps!!! ) and could not say ELECTROPOLIS to save my life!! It came out as ELECTROLYSIS!!! Gawd, can you imagine it!! 'Hey everyone...we  visited the ELECTROLYSIS studios last night...' and could imagine a response or two on the lines of '...didn't get rid of yer facial hair then...' etc.  But soon enough, up one final hill, round a corner and we are THERE!! Contemplating what must be the Lexx version of Xanadu, Shangri La etc we peer through the wire fencing with some reverence. Then, we start to head back into town, doing a lot of bawdy singing ( or at last I did...heheheheh..) And drooling about our  favourite Dead Assasin!! But for me, my lungs begin to give out. - as does my  back ( told ya I was unfit!! ) and we start to hunt for a taxi, plan being if no go...to get one from the Waverly or O'Brien. Luckily, one happens along and I  think I share a ride back with Jean to Shirreff, having to forgo phoning David as the lobby  phone was occupied, ( then I discover later, there was one on my floor!! Bugger!! ) so get upstairs, write a bit and then collapse happily into bed at 02.50& am!!!

Here endeth the first day's tales!

На этом заканчиваются события первого дня.



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