Lexx 2.08 White Trash
(written by Paul Donovan, Lex Gigeroff)
(The Lexx flies through space. Inside one of the passageways,
a man wearing the uniform of a Cluster guard is running away from something. He
stops for breath, and is grabbed from behind by Pa - the hillbilly seen at the
end of 2.7 Love Grows. Pa is joined by Junior, his idiot son)
Looks like it's eaty meaty snacky time
JUNIOR: Yeah, it's eaty meaty snacky
SISSY: Eaty meaty snacky time
(Sissy is a young girl, pretty
and slightly scruffy. With her is a kid - "cute", by the standards of the Lexx
universe. They watch as Junior starts to hit the guard with Pa's
(On the bridge - Xev and 790 on the floor, Stan on the
pedestal. He's humming, taking his hand on and off the template, when he hears
the guard's cries)
STAN: Whoa. Did you hear that?
STAN: Sounded like a scream - like a person
XEV: A man?
men are unimportant, Xev darling - except for the head man
down from the pedestal)
STAN: You think there could be somebody else
790: Don't look at me for the answer, micro mind. I only think about
my peach blossom
STAN: You know, we might not be alone on Lexx
that can only be an improvement
790: Why don't you go have a look, Tweedle?
Leave me be with my little love angel. And please - get lost, and never come
(He walks off the bridge. Xev sits in 790, who
licks desperately at his mouth screen)
(Stan heads down the passageway,
into the galley)
STAN: Look, there coulda been all kinds of people
onboard when we broke away from the Cluster. There musta been - workers, and
guards, and, you know, coming and going, how could you know? You're big, Lexx,
LEXX: I am big, Stanley
(A food nozzle squirts out
some goo. Stan dips his fingers in it, looks at it)
STAN: Lexx - do
you recall me saying baked mixed fruit muffin with double frosting?
try my best, Stan
(Stan wipes the food off his
STAN: Look - Lexx, I know that you're not exactly a
fountain of knowledge, but maybe you could help me out here? See, I wanna know
for sure if there are other people onboard, or not
LEXX: Yes there are,
STAN: There are? Well, maybe you could tell me exactly where, er, where
I might find those other people?
LEXX: In the galley, Stanley
STAN: But -
this is the galley - yeah?
LEXX: Yes, Stan
(The hillbillies are
standing behind Stan. He hasn't noticed them yet)
besides me, and Xev, and the robot head, and the dead guy in black
(Stan turns, shocked - even more shocked when Pa hugs
PA: I'm Pa, but you can call me Pa. This 'un here's Junior. And
this 'un here's ma little girl Sissy
SISSY: Oh, he's nice,
(Sissy starts smiling at Stan. Pa frowns)
PA: And that
funny looking one there, he's little Kid
(Kid blows a raspberry, so
Pa grabs him by his ear)
PA: He's got a mouth on him that I don't
know where he got it from! You do that again, I'm gonna have you over my knee,
you understand? You understand?
(Pa lets Kid go. Sissy is stroking
STAN: So er, you folks - are you hungry?
PA: No, we
JUNIOR: Real good meal
(Pa gets out a
PA: Do the donkey dance
(Junior starts playing
an instrument as well. Sissy starts dancing, but everyone stops when Pa stops,
and they stand beside him)
PA: We's the Golene clan
pushes his way in front of the others)
KID: What's left of
(The cryochamber. Xev walks in, carrying 790, who is
790: I'm feeling like a brand new girl, living in a brand
new world! I know I'm just a head, Xev darling - but he is dead. All
XEV: I don't care!
(She puts 790 down on the controls, looks
at Kai. She turns 790 around so he can't watch, then walks towards Kai's
(Meanwhile, back in the galley - )
STAN: So, er -
where are you from?
PA: Where're you from?
STAN: Well, I'm captain of the
PA: It's funny, you don't look much like a captain
STAN: Well, I
wasn't always a captain, um, I was a -
PA: Prisoner? See, I know. I knowed,
I knowed that you wasn't the law, so I knew you was a prisoner just like us.
See, when they came and they rounded us up in Vermal, they brought us to the
Cluster. I thought they was gonna grind us up, or smoke us, or pickle us or
something, but, we Golene's is smart, see? So we, we exscaped, and we was hiding
out. But then, they wasn't looking for us no more, so we kinda come out
JUNIOR: To make friends
(Pa grabs Stan's
PA: Where is everybody? Why aren't they looking for us no
STAN: We're not at the Cluster anymore. It's gone, really.
STAN: Yeah! Yeah, we, we, we blew it up, long time
(Pa lets go of Stan's arm)
PA: So there ain't no
reason for us to be hiding out no more! Hey, captain -
puts his arms around Junior and Sissy)
PA: Permission to come
(The cryochamber. Xev touches Kai's cryopod, looks
(She sighs, places her hands on the
cryopod, presses her face against the glass)
(She strokes the glass, a look of desperate longing on her face.
Frustrated, she pulls back, hitting the cryopod door - to see Stan walking very
carefully into the cryochamber, surrounded by hillbillies)
damn. Hot damn
JUNIOR: Hot damn!
STAN: I told you I heard
something, and the-
JUNIOR: Damn, she's pretty Pa!
SISSY: She's got lizard
skin on her
PA: She's nice and full up top, but she's a tad scrawny down
SISSY: Pa, you always go for the ones with all that blubber on their
PA: Well, ain't got the fat, ain't got the flavour
XEV: Stan -
STAN: Er, they're prisoners Xev, just like you and me (hint,
PA: (removes his hat) We's the Golene clan, ma'am
PA: See, there ain't no law here, so we done taken a vote, see, the
upshot of which is - it's gonna be now, Captain Pa, not Captain Stan
No. No no, no, we didn't take a vote
(Pa pushes Stan back with his
bone. Sissy puts her arms around him)
PA: Yeah, we took a vote. I'm
the only one what gets to vote
SISSY: I like him, Pa
angry, so Sissy quickly goes over to him)
SISSY: Oh, not like I like
you, Pa. I like you the best
(Sissy puts her hands on Pa's chest, and
he grabs her for a most unfatherly kiss, after which she wipes her mouth. Junior
goes over to Xev)
JUNIOR: Do you want to party?
XEV: What are you
JUNIOR: I bet you would
(Pa looks at Kai's
PA: What's he, frozen supper meat?
STAN: Oh, no no no,
he's not meat, no no, he's alive - well, actually he's not alive. Technically
he's dead, and reanimated with protoblood, but except now he's in
PA: What's, he's frozen fast asleep?
STAN: Er - yeah, yeah, if
(Pa pushes past Xev, who smiles sweetly. Sissy is hanging
onto Stan again)
STAN: So I guess we're going to the bridge?
(He leaves, Stan and Sissy follow)
(mouths) Come on!
XEV: (hisses) Do
(She smiles at Junior, then they leave the cryochamber as
well. Kid picks up 790)
790: Put me down, you revolting runt of
KID: What kind of processor do you got?
(He puts 790
back down on the cryopod controls)
790: Kai - I think you should
wake up now
(The Lexx flies near a green doughnut shaped planet, with
yellow rings. On the bridge, Sissy is trying to dance with Stan. Pa is on the
pedestal, trying to put his hand on the template - and Junior is putting his
hand on Xev's breast)
JUNIOR: Hot damn
PA: Guess I ain't got the
hang of it yet. Nothin's happenin
(Stan gets up on the pedestal
beside him - which doesn't stop Sissy putting her hands all over
STAN: See, that's because the Lexx only does what I tell it to,
whatever I say. It only responds to my commands, you know, if I say, fly away,
or blow something up, blow up a planet, you know, whatever, because I'm
PA: What d'you mean, blow up like, what d'you mean?
for instance, if I was to say, er, you know -
(Sissy is sucking
Stan's thumb by now. He's watching her nervously, so doesn't realise that his
other hand has activated the template)
STAN: Lexx, blow up that
LEXX: As you request
(The Lexx powers up, and fires. They
watch the view screen)
JUNIOR: Hot damn!
STAN: Oh no, not
(And the planet explodes into a million tiny
PA: OK Stanley, set a course for Vermal
PA: Yeah, that's where I'm from, that's my home. There's a feller
there I gotta see
(Xev walks around Junior)
STAN: Oh, you
see, er, I understand that and all, but you see, what we're trying to do here
is, we're trying to find a new home, you know, a decent home with nice people
and friendly normal attractive women, see, and Vermal, you know, where you're
(Pa grabs Stan by the crotch)
PA: I gots all the
votes, so I does all the deciding, see?
SISSY: Oh Pa, I could just cuddle him
all to death!
STAN: Vermal, Lexx, hurry!
LEXX: As you request
Party on Vermal
XEV: What is this party?
JUNIOR: It's the mostest fun you
can have on Vermal - you'd like it honey ma'am, yes indeedy
looks at Stan)
XEV: You should try to have fun, Stan
girl, atta girl. All right! Let's go home to Vermal
(He lets go of
Stan and gets out his harmonica, for more music and dancing. Xev nods her head
in time to the music, but doesn't join in with the bad singing and dancing. When
Pa stops, out of breath, so do the others)
JUNIOR: Come on Pa! Do
the humpy jumpy, Pa
(Pa starts dancing again, but it's too much for
PA: I wanna take me a rest now
(And he falls flat on
his face, snoring. Sissy and Junior smile at each other. Sissy gets up in the
pedestal beside Stan)
SISSY: Pa sleeps wherever he wants
SISSY: (yawns, stretches) You know
STAN:(smiles) No, what?
SISSY: Little ole me is getting
kinda sleepy too. Is there a place somewhere where I could - lay my head for a
STAN: (laughs) Yeah
SISSY: Maybe you could tuck me in, you
being so nice and gentlemanly and everything
STAN: And everything!
(laughs) Yeah, I'll show ya
(He gets down from the pedestal,
takes her hand, and they leave the bridge. Xev has already taken Junior and sat
him down on the floor)
XEV: Don't cut yourself, Stan
(yawns) Little ole Junior's getting sleepy too. Maybe there's some
place where I could lay some head
XEV: Hmm. You know what?
shakes his head)
XEV: I have highly accelerated sexual appetites,
and very reduced standards. You know what that means?
(Xev gets up, drags Junior to his feet by his belt - he
XEV: (sighs) My body was altered to make me a love
slave (she puts her arm around him) Do you know what that
(Xev pulls him closer)
about right here right now, you know what that means?!
JUNIOR: Yup. Not
(He starts kissing Xev's neck. She looks really
(Stan and Sissy are pulling each other down a
SISSY: Come on
SISSY: I always liked
sneaking into boys bedrooms
STAN: (laughs) What would your momma
SISSY: My momma?
STAN: Yeah, your momma (tickles
SISSY: Well - one day, Ma went berry picking. Pa got real steamed
up, like he does when he plays too hard. Ma didn't move after that. We put her
in the crook of a morning tree
STAN: (worried) Well why'd your Pa
get so steamed up about?
SISSY: Well, he had to! Ma went berry picking,
STAN: I like berries
(In the cryochamber, Kid looks at Kai
in pod, then at 790. He gets out a knife, flicks it open. 790
(Sissy and Stan reach his bedroom - he tries to tidy it up a
SAN: Well - this is where I sleep
SISSY: My neck's feeling
sore. Could you rub it for little ole me?
STAN: Oh yeah, I can rub it for
little ole you (laughs) I like rubbing things
her dress off, down to her underwear)
SISSY: Actually Stan - I ain't
(She sticks her tongue out - has a tongue ring. She kisses
Stan, and manages to transfer the ring into his tongue. He hands it back to
STAN: (laughs) That's yours
SISSY: You - you taste
STAN: Different? What do you mean?
SISSY: From the others
(runs her hands down his body) Looks like it's been a while,
STAN: Oh, not that long
SISSY: Oh, it's long enough - but that's
all right. I like being with men - all types of men
(She sits on the
bed, pulling him down)
STAN: Well, I'm all types of
(He takes off his hat, starts undoing his uniform. She lies down,
giggling, and he kisses her)
(Xev is standing, waiting for Junior to kiss
her - then he pulls away)
JUNIOR: I can't wait for the boys on
Vermal to see me do the humpy jumpy lookee see with you
JUNIOR: Yes, we does it - they watches. It's
the best way
(Xev makes a face)
JUNIOR: I say something
wrong, honey ma'am?
XEV: Even with my love slave programming, I don't think
I'm up to this right now
JUNIOR: Right - I gotta save my juices for the
(Xev nods indulgently. Junior starts
JUNIOR: We only has them about once a season. Everybody
comes. It's party time!
(Lexx arrives at Vermal - a mouldy looking
blue green planet)
LEXX: Stanley, we have reached the planet Vermal.
It was not very far away. Stanley, we have reached the planet Vermal. Stanley,
we have reached the planet Vermal
(Pa wakes up alone on the bridge.
He grabs his bone and walks away)
(In the cryochamber, Kid sticks his
knife into the back of 790, who is squawking gibberish. Kid moves the knife
experimentally, and 790's eye screens flicker)
KID: I ain't the same
as they is. You got the right stuff. You can help me get the Charger up and
(Stan and Sissy are smiling and
SISSY: I like you Stanley. You're my
(Stan's smile disappears as he hears the sound of Pa's
slapping his bone against his hand)
(Pa is sitting on the end of the moth bed. Stan quickly tries
to put his T-shirt back on)
STAN: You're up, hey, good to see ya,
PA: We ain't buddies
STAN: Sure -
(Pa crawls into the
moth on top of him)
PA: No, see, thing about buddies is that there's
certain things them just doesn't do - like diddling your little girl
SISSY: Don't kill him Pa
PA: You just like your momma
SISSY: Oh, he
was real gentle with me
PA: Better go Sissy - you don't wanna get no mess on
STAN: But, but - who's gonna fly the Lexx?
PA: No, we's at Vermal now,
that's all I want
(Pa unzips his dungarees)
SISSY: I love
him! I want Stanley to become family. I want him to become my one and only
(Stan looks like marriage to Sissy is only slightly
preferable to whatever Pa has in mind)
STAN: Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah! I wanna be, I wanna become Sissy's, I wanna be -
PA: My son
STAN: Yeah, that!
PA: Son in law!
(Pa is delighted, and
hugs them both. Sissy kisses Stan, who looks like he's in
(Meanwhile, back in the cryochamber - )
790: I sense
something bad is going to happen to Xev. Please kid, please wake up Kai
You're just a robot. You're not supposed to be interested in girls, and you
don't even have a body
790: I am far more than just a robot - far, far more!
I am the definition of devotion. Please, we must wake up Kai
KID: What will
you do for me?
790: I will do whatever you want. Whatever my circuits will
KID: OK, we can make a deal - I'll wake up the man in black, and you'll
help me get the Charger up and running
790: I agree, I agree! I agree to
(Stan and Sissy have got their clothes back on. Pa puts
his arms around them)
PA: I mean, if you became family - I mean,
real family, if you became a real Golene and all, that means that this big bug
ship becomes mine, 'cos I 'm the head of the clan. Sweetheart, we can perform
the ceremony right now, I can do it myself!
(Sissy hugs them both, as
Xev and Junior come into Stan's bedchamber)
SISSY: Oh Pa! Oh
PA: Do you -
SISSY: (to Xev, smugly) Captain Stanley is
gonna be my one and only husband
XEV: (amused) Congratulations,
JUNIOR: That's nice. Honey ma'am and me going down onto Vermal, to
PA: Huh? Ain't you done the humpy jumpy with her yet?
better way than at a Vermal party
PA: Junior! The reason I gots the votes in
the family is directly correlated to the fact that in this family, the brains
ain't evenly distributed. Some gots more, some gots less. You
PA: Well, never mind. You ain't going to
JUNIOR: But -
PA: And I ain't going to explain why. No
(Upset, Junior leaves. Xev follows him)
on, son old son, we got a score to settle
(Sissy is hugging Stan. Pa
puts his arm around her, and she pulls Stan away)
(Back in the
cryochamber - )
KID: Why should I trust you?
790: Because I will
sink to any level to be with Xev
KID: OK, deal
790: What's the
KID: It's down on Vermal, you'll see
(Xev and Junior are
walking down a passageway)
JUNIOR: All Pa ever does is what Pa
wants. Does Pa ever think of me? No! I wants to go down to Vermal and party,
XEV: Party - what's that exactly?
JUNIOR: Party's hot damn fun,
ma'am. Specially a Vermal party
(Xev thinks about this, walks around
XEV: I'm part Cluster lizard
XEV: That makes me always hungry to try new things. Fun things. I
could take you down to Vermal
JUNIOR: But Pa -
XEV: Can stay up
JUNIOR: Hot damn!
(On the bridge - Stan, Sissy and Pa. Vermal
is on the view screen. Close up, the planet looks like mouldy orange
PA: Sweetie, I think he's a little old for you, but when he
had his shirt off he had creamy shoulders, which is OK
Stan's arms around her)
PA: Vermal. Captain Pa's gotta go back to
Vermal. Gotta go down there and settle an old score. Old score, payback time,
(He pokes Stan with his bone. A moth appears on view screen,
and they hear Junior)
JUNIOR: Yeeha! We's going down to party on
Vermal, ha ha, hoo ha!
PA: Junior! See, he's done turned on my instructions.
It's that woman. Yeah, it's that woman, yeah, she made him do it, she put him up
to it. See, now I gotta go down to Vermal, I gotta fetch Junior, kill her, and
then settle my score, that's what I'm gonna do
SISSY: But Pa - what about the
PA: Yeah, the wedding, right. What about it? Well, we could have the
wedding now. Let's have it now, let's have the wedding now
STAN: Now, now,
PA: Let's do it now
STAN: Pa, you see, it's all kinda sudden
Do you, captain Stan, take my (looks at Sissy) beautiful little creamy
pussy cat cream ball girl - to be your lawful wedded wife, one and only, one and
(In the cryochamber, Kid opens cryopod. Kai gets out and looks
(Back at the wedding, Pa has his arms around Stan's neck, Sissy
has Stan's hand. Pa pinches his ear, Sissy pinches his nose)
does wants to be her one and only husband, don't you?
away from them)
STAN: Well, um, er, you see, um, er -
does loves her, don't you?
STAN: Love her? Well, you see Pa, that, that takes
time, you know, um, but you know she, but she's really special to me - really
STAN: Oh, yeah
PA: You know, somehow, that
don't - that don't sound very convincing to me
his bone ready)
PA: You know what I think? I think that you don't
wanna be a Golene (laughs)
STAN: Me, Golene?
PA: I think that you think that Sissy ain't good enough for
(Pa raises his bone - but Sissy grabs it, hits him with
SISSY: Pa, no!
(Pa spits out blood, a tooth - looks
at it, then grabs the bone back from Sissy)
PA: You done touched my
bone! You crossed the line, little lady. You crossed the line right there. You
just like your momma. You, honey ma'am, your momma - all the same!
(defiant) That's right - all way too good for you. Ma knew it too. She
never wanted to be with you, ever since the day you took her. Ma had free will
PA: Free will, what's that? What you saying? what is that?
know what I'm saying. I'm saying that Ma had her own ideas about who she really
wanted to be with - and it never was you
(Angry, Pa pushes her back -
she wobbles on the edge of the bridge. Stan reaches out for her, but she falls
off - screaming all the way down)
PA: She shouldn't
oughta said that. She, she just gone too far. You the one. You put her up to
PA: Yeah, you put her up to this, you killed my little
PA: Yeah, yeah
(Kai walks onto the bridge,
along with Kid and 790)
PA: Oo - the law
PA: I know
it when I see it. Uh - she done fell. See, we were just horsing around, and er,
and things got a little carried away and she done fell over the edge!
He pushed her. She was nice. You pushed her!
PA: You did it, you did it,
STAN: You pushed her!
PA: You never find
(Pa runs off the bridge. Kai looks at Stan)
says Xev may be in trouble
790: Where is she? Where's my little peach
STAN: She went down to Vermal - to party
(Vermal. A moth
flies past a shanty town, and lands nearby. Xev and Junior get
JUNIOR: Hot damn! Sounds like we came back at just the right
XEV: For the party?
(They join the locals, who are dancing,
relieving themselves on the fire, that sort of thing)
(The cousins look at Xev)
JUNIOR: Hot damn Goolu clan!
COUSIN1: Golene clan
COUSIN2: I thought the Golene clan was all rounded up
exscaped, come back. Where's all the other clan?
COUSIN2: Hauled off. We's
all that's left
COUSIN1: Who's that?
JUNIOR: That there's
(They look at her. She looks back, unsure)
JUNIOR: We come for the party
COUSIN2: Come for the party? Junior
Golene, you in the dictionary -
(Cousin1 grabs Junior's neck, turns
his head towards him)
COUSIN1: Uh huh, in the dictionary
Right beside the word stupid -
COUSIN1: Beside the word stupid
There's a picture of you
COUSIN1: Of you!
(Xev sits down)
XEV: I've never been to a party
COUSIN2: Why ma'am, come on in
(He helps her to her feet,
leads her away)
JUNIOR: Humpy jumpy
(Another moth leaves
the Lexx - this one carrying Kai, 790 and Kid)
790: Poor Xev. My
poor wonderful exquisite lost Xev
KID: You really used to kill people
Yes - very many people
KID: My father was a warrior
(Kai looks at
(On the bridge, of the Lexx, Stan is on the pedestal when he hears a
sound. He looks around uneasily, then gets down)
STAN: Lexx - what
LEXX: I do not know, Stan
(Stan moves to stand under
STAN: Lyekka! Lyekka! Lyekka! Wake up, I got food for
(Down on Vermal, there's a party going on - music,
dancing - well, sort of. Junior, Xev and the cousins arrive at the back of the
JUNIOR: Hi there!
(Everyone stops, turns, looks at
JUNIOR: Come down here to party with honey ma'am You can all
watch us do the humpy jumpy -
(Xev clamps her hand over his mouth,
(The other moth has laded in a swamp)
KID: This place
used to be full of Golenes, and a whole lot of other clans too
KAI: I presume
they were cleansed by His Divine Shadow
KID: I don't know about that, but
(Stan is nervously walking around bridge, but can't see
STAN: Who's there?
PA: Look behind you
Oh, I shoulda gone with Kai
PA: Behind you!
STAN: I can't see ya
Well, I'm here!
STAN: Where are ya?
(He looks up - and a hand
grabs his shoulder)
PA: Here, Stanley
(Kid leads Kai to a
hole in a corrugated iron fence)
KID: Look, there it is. Come on,
(He leads the way, past skeletons on stakes. He touches two
cables together, and a light come on, illuminating the Charger - a space
(Back at the party, there's a guy who looks familiar, even with
long fair hair, moustache, and cowboy hat. He spits, and starts twirling a
lasso. The cousins grab Xev)
JUNIOR: Honey ma'am!
(Junior is lasso'd around his ankles, dragged forward, and hauled to
hang upside down. The crowd yells PARTY)
KID: Isn't she beautiful? A
stranger crashed here. His name was Norb. He tried to fix up the ship, until Pa
found him. But Ma found him first, and she went berry picking
KAI: Did you
ever meet this Norb?
KAI: What happened to him?
KID: Pa found
KAI: How did you find out about him?
KID: Sissy told me
Sissy your sister?
KID: Half sister
790: We must abandon this ridiculous
heap of low tech junk. Xev is in danger! We must continue our search
made a deal
790: Love is the only deal I understand
KID: Well, I'm the
only one who knows where Junior woulda gone - and you gotta help me before I
790: Kai - please torture the little bastard
KAI: Did you make a
790: Deals with undersized irritating inbreeds do not count
not an inbreed
KAI: Sounds like you made an agreement
(At the party, a man with one white eye, a white suit, and a straw
hat takes the stage - it's Daddy Gloolene)
DADDY: I thought all you
Golenes was rounded up and taken to the big barbecue in the sky
crowd laughs. He snaps his fingers, and Xev is dragged
DADDY: Now, it's party time on Vermal!
(The Charger. Kai connects 790 to the engine. Kid opens
cockpit and gets in)
KID: All you gotta do, is figure out the
starting codes. Can you do it?
790: I'm confident that I will be up to such a
KID: Isn't the Charger just about the greatest thing
KAI: Just about
KID: How about you, mister? Have you ever been a
KAI: I was, before I died
(Kid looks at him - like you
would if someone said something like that)
(At the party, Daddy Gloolene
is struggling with a microphone)
DADDY: How d'you work this
(The bridge of the Lexx. Pa is on the pedestal, still trying
to put his hand on the template. Stan is nearby)
LEXX: Stanley, I
can hear something coming from the planet. Would you like to hear it?
Yeah, yeah, we wants to hear it!
LEXX: Stanley, I can hear something coming
from the planet. Would you like to hear it?
(Pa motions for Stan to
activate the template, which he does)
STAN: We wants to hear
DADDY: You hear me, cousin Pa Golene?
PA: I hears ya. I hears ya, Daddy
Gloolene, but I don't like the sound of your voice
DADDY: Well, how you like
this, cousin on the no-good side of the family?
JUNIOR: Pa! Pa!
JUNIOR: Pa, they're gonna lower me down into mine critters
JUNIOR: And then they're gonna have a party with honey ma'am
- without me!
PA: I told you not to go down there
JUNIOR: I'm sorry Pa,
I'm sorry. I just wanted to party
PA: (to Stan) He wanted to
(The Charger. Kid holds up a sphere, with
a hologram of a space pilot inside)
KID: This is my
(He replaces the sphere in the cockpit, and Kai helps him out.
They raise the nose of the Charger)
(Back at the party, cousins open a
trapdoor beneath Junior's head - there are hungry noises down
JUNIOR: No, not mine critters!
DADDY: Yes, mine
(Junior is lowered down a little)
DADDY: Your pa can't help you with this conundrum
please help me! Not mine critters
(He is lowered
PA: Cousin Daddy -
JUNIOR: Pa! Pa!
is lowered down into the mine critters. There are screams)
DADDY: You a cockerwidder! A no-brain cockerwidder, just like your
no-brain mine critter lunch son! And all the other Golenes - that is, what's
left of 'em
PA: Cousin Daddy - you're gonna regret that. You're gonna regret
that and everything else you low-down Gloolenes ever done to us
gets down from the pedestal)
PA: That's it. That's it. Payback time.
Blow it up Tweedle, blow up Vermal. Blow it up!
(Pa pushes Stan up
onto the pedestal)
PA: He called me a cockerwidder. He called me a
cockerwidder. He done fed my son to mine critters, and worst of all that
low-down Gloolene, he told them where we was hiding out
STAN: Er -
Blow it up, Tweedle
STAN: But what about Xev and Kai? And the little kid? I
mean he's, he's the only family you got left
(Kid is now inside the Charger. He puts his helmet on, fires up the
(At the party - Daddy Gloolene strokes Xev's
DADDY: So, you some kind of Golene, or what?
DADDY: I say, she's too pretty to be a Golene. I say, it's
party time on Vermal!
(The crowd likes the sound of this. Cousin2
COUSIN2: Who gets to humpy jumpy her
DADDY: I say - let Daddy
(Daddy takes his hat off)
(The Lexx. Kid appears on the
PA: You get yourself on back down up here
KID: Why should I?
PA: 'Cause I told you to that's why
aren't telling me nothing more, you old fat fart
PA: You watch your tongue
KID: No more, you big piece of poo. From now on, I say what I wants to,
when I wants to, you dumb Golene inbreed
PA: What you call me?
KID: A fat
fart, big poo inbreed! And I got something else to say to you too Pa - you ain't
my pa! Ever notice I was missing something here? (points to his left temple,
where the Golenes have a red birthmark) No, you didn't, because you're too
stupid. Well I've got news for you too Pa - remember how Ma used to go berry
picking? Well, she wasn't picking berries
PA: I know that - that's why I
killed that space pilot, and your ma
KID: Well, Ma was picking berries long
before you found out, and she laid down with that space pilot, and they made me.
He was my real Pa
PA: That - that would mean that - you ain't my kid. That
would mean that - there's no Golenes left
KID: My real father was the space
pilot you killed, remember Pa? His name was Norb, and that's my name too
NORB: Before I go, before I leave you behind forever Pa, you hear me. I
wanna say one thing - you're a cockerwidder, Pa! Cockerwidder cockerwidder
cockerwidder! You're nothing but a dumb inbreed Golene cockerwidder! Goodbye
(He vanishes from the screen, which shows an image of
PA: Blow up Vermal Stan
STAN: Xev and Kai -
(The Charger's engines suddenly stop
(At the party, Daddy Gloolene is
down to his long johns)
XEV: I'm warning you - I'm part Cluster
DADDY: Ooo, she sings pretty
(Daddy moves closer to Xev - and Kai's brace grabs Xev,
pulling her up to the moth. The crowd watch, baffled, as Kai helps her
XEV: Thanks for the lift
KAI: I remember - I used to like
790: Xev - if love is a hook, I'll be your worm
Lexx's view screen, Stan sees the moth leaving Vermal. He activates the
STAN: Blow it up!
(Lexx turns to aim directly
at Vermal. Norb struggles with the Charger)
(The engines start again)
Lexx powers up. The Charger flies away from the swamp. Lexx fires a bolt -
towards the moth)
790: Hard throttle!
(The moth swerves
upwards. The Lexx bolt passes underneath - and destroys Vermal. Pa watches on
the view screen. He takes off his hat, and sings sadly)
Vermal hills, my Vermal hills, every dome so fragrant be - It's the
(He sees Kai and Xev walk onto the bridge, and runs
PA: You never find me!
(Stan gets down from the
pedestal and hugs Xev)
STAN: Oh, you're back! Oh, I'm so
790: Oh, spare me the slobber, picobrain
(Pa runs down a
passageway. Kai leaves the bridge to go after him, Stan and Xev
STAN: Come on, he's getting away
(They all walk
down the passageway. When they're gone, Pa emerges from hiding and goes back
onto the bridge - where he hears laughter. Tendrils drop down from Lyekka's
LYEKKA: Hi. I'd like to dance with you
(Her head and
arms are now visible hanging down from the pod - red/blue
LYEKKA: I'm hungry, and I like you
passageway, the Lexx crew hear the screams)
STAN: Did you hear
(They look at each other)
(The Charger appears at the
head of the Lexx, and flies down the length of it)
Goodbye Vermal. Yahoo!
© Filking Fairy
© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana