Lexx 3.13 Heaven and Hell
(written by Paul Donovan)
(On the Lexx, Stan's body is inside a cryopod. On Water, the
sun is setting as a moth flies toward Gametown. Inside, Xev is smiling, and 790
790: I'm going to wet myself, with tears of joy. There
(Kai is standing on a balcony. The moth lands, and Xev opens
the door to let Kai in)
790: Kiss me Kai
(Kai kisses his
hand, then taps it on the top of 790's casing)
790: I'll never wash
(The moth flies away)
790: On a branch, there
is a fruit,
Plump and ripe for sucking
In a moth, there is a Kai,
but right for -
XEV: Give him a break, 790
790: I can't help it! I'm
obsessed by my man!
KAI: Thank you, 790, but that is enough
XEV: Nice to
see you again Kai
KAI: Thank you Xev
XEV: We knew you didn't float, and we
were really worried that we would never find you again. That you would be sunk
down inside the planet forever
KAI: Did you find Stan's body?
XEV: Yes. It
was floating face down. We took it back to the Lexx and tried to use the protein
regenerator on it
790: But it was all a big waste of time. The dead stay
dead. But one of the dead can pump some life into me anytime. Grr!
the Lexx fly now?
XEV: A short way only. He says the balloons he ate were
just a snack and he's still weak, so he probably has to eat a lot more. I have
(Xev holds up her hand, which glows)
XEV: Is there anything we can do?
XEV: About Stanley
790: We can forget about him
KAI: He is dead
XEV: So are you, but it hasn't been the end
for you. Does it mean it has to be the end for him?
KAI: Underwater I saw
countless shapes, I think - they are the life essences of people who have died,
and who will live again
XEV: Why do you think that?
KAI: In the centre of
the planet there is a brightness. I sank into this brightness and then - I woke
up again, on Gametown
XEV: What do you mean, you woke up?
KAI: I don't
know exactly, but people here say, they are not born, but that they wake up. I
think I experienced such a process. Everyone who wakes up here has lived and
died before. I believe it is a continuous cycle
XEV: Hmm. If you woke up, are
you alive now?
KAI: No, I am still dead. But -
XEV: But what?
saw the living part of me deep inside this planet, waiting for his turn to wake
up, and live again
XEV: So should we try to find him? I mean you. Him
I think - my living shape will have no knowledge of his former self, and that he
will wake up somewhere here, and lead a happy life. That is a good
(Xev nods. 790 looks at her, and Kai. Kai watches
KAI: But if you want to, we can -
XEV: No, it's fine. It is
a good outcome. Why should we want to change it? (changes the subject)
What about Stanley?
KAI: He is not here, inside this planet
KAI: Water, seems to be the afterlife for the virtuous. Stanley did not
always make virtuous choices. I suspect he has gone to Fire
XEV: Then we are
going to Fire
KAI: What for?
XEV: To get Stanley
heads for Fire)
(On Fire, Prince is standing inside his city, with his
eyes closed. A priest enters the chamber)
PRIEST: Prince, we have -
(Prince opens his eyes)
PRINCE: Visitors. I've been
PRIEST: What shall we do?
PRINCE: We shall entertain
(The priest leaves. Prince opens some shutters and looks at the
moth, then goes out onto the balcony. Xev watches him from the
XEV: It's Prince, looking good as new
raises his arms)
XEV: What do you think?
KAI: I think, that to
land here is to risk your life, but I also think that Prince is the most capable
of answering your questions about Stanley
XEV: We're landing
moth lands on the balcony. Prince walks down the steps back into his chamber.
Xev and Kai stand at the top of the steps, looking into the
XEV: Looks familiar
PRINCE: Of course. So Xev - have you
come for another kiss? You seemed to enjoy it last time
XEV: Which time?
Before you died, or after you died, or when you came back as Kai?
I don't know, any of them. All of them. Whatever
KAI: We have come to find
PRINCE: He's dead
XEV: How do you know that?
have recovered his body. It is fully functional, but he is not alive
He is not alive, because he is dead
(Kai walks down the steps, Xev
KAI: We have learned that these two planets seem to be a
type a repository for the part of a human which is its life essence, outside of
the physical body
PRINCE: That's very good
XEV: And we think that
Stanley's life essence is here, and we want it back
PRINCE: Very good again.
Stanley's life essence is here - but you can't have it back
PRINCE: Because I have it
XEV: Well, then give it to us
(Kai aims his brace at Prince's neck, which seems to
PRINCE: I have lived and died many times. Physical
threat has no meaning to me. If you kill me I will instantly live again as
whoever I want, wherever I choose
KAI: But only here
PRINCE: Correct. That
is my only limitation - for now
XEV: Why do you have Stanley?
lowers his arm)
PRINCE: Because Stanley did not live a good and
XEV: Where is he?
(Prince fills his phial with
PRINCE: Stanley Tweedle is waiting his turn for
(Prince looks down into the pit in the centre of the
chamber. So do Xev and Kai)
PRINCE: Your visit here intrigues me.
Clearly your bug cannot fly, or you would have left. I expect that you've come
to negotiate a deal
(Kai suddenly throws himself over the edge of the
pit, down into the flames. Xev gasps)
PRINCE: The heat there is
enough to instantly incinerate living flesh
XEV: That won't stop
PRINCE: I suspect that you're right
XEV: I am
PRINCE: This has
never happened before. You're the first
XEV: First what?
stands on the edge of the pit)
PRINCE: The first people to come here
still living their original lives. This has been a most interesting time. A most
unsettling time. A time of great - possibility
(He drinks from his
phial, then holds it out to Xev)
PRINCE: And now it's time for me to
(Xev takes the phial from him)
(Prince jumps into the pit. Xev watches him fall)
falls from the sky into a rocky patch of desert. He gets up from the sand,
brushes himself off, and starts to walk. There is a sound, and Prince
materialises a short way off, dressed all in white. He walks over to
KAI: Where's Stanley Tweedle?
PRINCE: Here. Would you like
to see him?
KAI: Yes, I would
PRINCE: Then come with me
takes Kai by the hand. They start walking)
(Back in Prince's chamber, Xev
fills the phial with water. A priest comes into the chamber, sees her, and takes
out his knife)
PRIEST: Where is our prince?
(Xev takes a
sip of water, and bluffs)
XEV: I am your prince
priest believes her, and bows)
XEV: You can leave
(The priest leaves, closing the doors behind him)
moth on the balcony, 790 is composing poetry)
790: In a moth, there
is a head, whose man is cold and dead
And all that head can ever do, is
dream of him in bed
Oh, I suffer so! It hurts. It hurts so bad to love a dead
(Back in the desert. Prince and Kai are still walking over
KAI: Being dead, I do not care about things, but I do - think
PRINCE: And what do you think about?
KAI: I try to understand
the difference between the living and myself
PRINCE: Well, you're not
(He strokes Kai's face)
PRINCE: You're a chemical
machine, for lack of a better term. Would you like to be alive again?
do not have likes
PRINCE: (laughs) There you go!
carries on walking. Kai follows him)
(The moth. More
790: In a moth there is a head, yet no-one seems to
I'm in love with a man who's dead! I want to - suck his
(790 thinks about this)
790: No - stroke his hair.
Touch his hair? Caress his hair? Comb? Comb his hair! Yes, that
(Xev walks over to the moth)
790: Please, take me
to Kai! Do it now!
XEV: It's too hot, 790. You would melt
790: I'm already
melting - with loneliness!
(790 sobs. Xev walks away)
and Kai reach the top of a ridge, and look at a reddish wormhole type thing in
PRINCE: There they are, and there they wait
PRINCE: Those who made bad choices when they were still alive
And what are they waiting for?
PRINCE: Their turn to suffer. There never used
to be so many, but there are so many people now making so many bad choices in so
many places that it's getting rather crowded down here, and so they have to
wait. Of course, they're not conscious of the wait. For them it is just an
instant. They suffer, and they die, and then they awaken, and the suffering goes
on as if it had never stopped
KAI: And what will happen to Stanley
PRINCE: Stanley's punishment is level 9. He will man the bellows
there until his arms and legs give out, and then he will lose his head. This he
will do, over and over
KAI: And for how long?
PRINCE: For the rest of
(Prince raises a telescope, looks through it)
And when time ends?
PRINCE: Then time will begin again, and Stanley will
return to me. There
(Prince points, and hands the telescope to Kai.
Kai looks through it, and sees Stan, all red and bony as at the end of The
KAI: I have come here to rescue Stanley
PRINCE: Go ahead.
Rescue him. Take him with you
(Kai aims his brace, then lowers his
KAI: How can I do that?
PRINCE: You can't
PRINCE: No. Stanley's fate is sealed. He will suffer here for all time,
and that is that
(Kai steps up to Prince, hands him the
KAI: I must return to Xev
PRINCE: Not possible
PRINCE: Because no-one ever returns from here. This is the end of
their journey - the last stop. Nothing comes after it and there is no way
KAI: And you can return?
PRINCE: Of course! I am Prince. I am here
with you, and yet at the same time I'm there with Xev. But you will keep me
company here, forever
(Prince pats Kai's back)
(They start walking again)
(Stan is floating in limbo.
His body is still dead in the cryopod)
(Xev is back in Prince's chamber.
She hears a sound. Prince has reappeared, dressed in black, on the opposite side
of the pit)
PRINCE: Xev. Now that we're rid of the
dead man we can finally begin to solve the problem
PRINCE: The only one that matters - to me, anyway. How to destroy
(Prince pulls on a bell rope. Some priests come
PRINCE: I advise you to surrender. The situation is distinctly
in my favour. Now let me think. Stanley is dead
(Prince walks around
the pit toward Xev. She walks the other way)
PRINCE: Kai is
(Prince changes direction. So does Xev)
there is only one key to the Lexx. I wonder who could have it?
looks at the priests)
PRINCE: Oh, they're very good with knives. You
would never make it
XEV: So what's the deal?
PRINCE: I will be king, you
will be queen. Or perhaps, you'll be my slave (chuckles) It's the same
(Xev walks toward Prince)
XEV: I'm not a
PRINCE: Then what are you?
XEV: I'm half human, and half
PRINCE: Tell me more about this Cluster lizard
XEV: A very
nasty thing. It eats human flesh. It prefers the brain especially. It's a
predator, without feelings
PRINCE: Am I supposed to be afraid?
You're supposed to understand
(Prince moves in to kiss her, but Xev
turns her face)
XEV: Why I'm happy to accept your
deal - under the right conditions
(Prince sniffs her. Xev grabs his
neck. Prince smiles, and she strokes his face)
XEV: You bring out
something in me that doesn't always find proper expression
PRINCE: I think
that there's a possibility that you will be a very good queen
XEV: I will be - a very good queen
to kiss her, but she pulls away)
XEV: But not your
(She walks away, holds up her hand. It glows, but as Prince
moves closer she curls her fingers and smiles)
(Meanwhile, Stan is still
in limbo. Prince and Kai are crossing some rocks)
PRINCE: I cannot
release Stanley Tweedle, but I can move him to the head of the line. I do have
some influence here
(Prince raises his hands, and Stan drifts down
out of limbo)
(Stan finds himself on the
floor in the city. Handlers grab him)
STAN: Where am I? Ah! Who are
(The handlers manhandle him onto the pump contraption, like
before in Fire and Water)
STAN: No! Gee, guys, take it easy, that
(The handlers fasten the straps on his hands and
STAN: I'm not liking this. I'm not liking this one
(They put his hands on the levers, a cage around his neck. They
attach the blade, add the weight)
STAN: Oh, no, no. Hey guys, I
don't wanna do this!
(The handlers leave)
STAN: Guys, we
can talk about this. Guys, what did I do to deserve this? Hey guys, come
(His voice echoes, as bodies swing past)
and Prince are still walking)
KAI: Where is Stanley Tweedle
PRINCE: He's on level 9
(Prince sits down on a
PRINCE: In my city. It's reserved for the worst
KAI: What is he doing there?
(In the city, Stan is pedalling)
somewhere! I can't hold out much longer. I can't keep it up
(The weight attached to the blade is nearly at the end of the
pole. Stan pedals faster)
STAN: Someone help me!
desert, Stan's cries are audible)
KAI: (shouts) I will try to help you Stanley!
can't hear you. And you can't help him. There's nothing you can do
Gotta keep pumping. I gotta keep pumping. Gotta, gotta keep pumping. Gotta keep
(He is slower now)
KAI: If I am a machine, and
Stanley is an essence meant to suffer forever, then what are you?
do not know
KAI: How is it that you do not know?
PRINCE: Because no-one
has ever asked me that question before, and so I've never thought about the
KAI: Where did you come from?
PRINCE: I do not know that either. I
do not know when time began, but I think I have been here from the beginning. My
existence is simple. I make sure that those who make bad choices suffer -
nothing more. At least, until you came along
KAI: What do you
PRINCE: What do you mean?
KAI: I mean, what is it that you want? You
have tried to destroy both Fire and Water, and yet you say you want to rule both
PRINCE: I want to destroy the planet Water. Everything else is just a
KAI: Why do you want to destroy Water?
PRINCE: Because it is full of
good, and I am full of bad. I think that's all there is to it. I'm not very
complicated, really (smiles)
KAI: Has our presence on these planets
been a good thing, or a bad thing?
PRINCE: Well, a good thing for me is a bad
thing for others, of course, but the truth is, I don't know. The issue is not
KAI: But if you and I are to remain here forever, and if Stanley
is to suffer for the rest of time, what can possibly happen now to resolve the
PRINCE: Xev. She holds the future of Fire and Water. Without her
everything would go on forever, as before. We would defeat the people of the
planet Water on every battle that we fought, but then we would fight among
ourselves and we would undermine our victory. We would never lose - and yet, we
would never win
KAI: Where is Xev now? Do you know?
PRINCE: Yes. She's
come over to me
KAI: Are you certain?
(Prince thinks about
(In the city, Prince stands behind Xev,
sniffs her. He snaps his fingers, and more priests come through the door. One
priest hands Prince his knife)
PRINCE: Kneel before
(The priest kneels down. Prince raises his chin with the knife,
then looks at Xev)
PRINCE: Strangle him
Because I want to watch you do it
(He walks over to
PRINCE: I want to see you eat his brain. I want to see if you
can be my queen (to priests) If she hesitates, kill
(Prince walks behind Xev, his mouth on her hair as he
PRINCE: I'm waiting
(He backs off, stands behind
the kneeling priest. Xev walks over to the scared priest, and puts her hands
around his throat)
PRINCE: Good, Xev. Very good
tightens her grip. The priest is now making a gurgling
PRINCE: And you will be mine!
(The priest suddenly
pushes Xev's hands away)
PRINCE: I'm disappointed in you
PRIEST: I'm sorry, Prince. I did not
want to die
(Prince pats him on the shoulder - then stabs him in the
back. Xev turns into a Cluster lizard, and rolls out of the chamber. Prince
follows, laughing. Back in human form, Xev jumps into the moth, kisses 790, and
gives a scream as they take off. Prince arrives on the balcony and manages to
jump onto the legs of the moth as it flies away)
790: We can't leave without him!
XEV: He's not there
anymore, 790, he's somewhere inside the planet
(Prince manages to get
the moth door open)
PRINCE: How about a kiss, Xev?
tilts the moth - Prince falls from the door, but sticks his knife into the moth,
and manages to hold on underneath. Xev looks out of the moth trying to see him -
then Prince cuts a hole through the base of the moth. Xev leaps up onto the top
of her seat, nearly hanging out of the door)
790: Ah! What was
790: Does he know where Kai is?
I talk to him then?
(Prince's face appears in the
PRINCE: I knew you weren't really going to strangle him
PRINCE: You're just not my type. I could tell
me where Kai is
PRINCE: Inside the planet Fire
790: Then we have to go in
there and get him
PRINCE: You can't
790: Xev, go inside the planet and get
XEV: I can't, 790. Kai is dead, that's why he could go inside the
planet. I would burn up if I tried to go into it
PRINCE: She's right. He's
stuck there forever, with me
790: Then blow up Fire. Blow the planet
PRINCE: Don't do that
XEV: Why not?
PRINCE: You don't want to upset
XEV: What balance?
PRINCE: Everything. You don't want to be
responsible for that. Just give up, Xev, and then when you're dead, in a minute
or two, you'll be able to live a happy life forever and ever on the planet
XEV: Until you destroy it
PRINCE: Well, I've never managed to do
that so far, and I never will - unless you upset the balance
listen to him Xev! We have to save Kai, we have to blow up the planet. Kai will
PRINCE: So, Xev - is there a deal?
XEV: But not
(She kicks his face, and he falls from the moth. Xev gets
back into her seat)
790: We could be friends, you know - but only if
you agree to give up the dead man
XEV: That's not the deal,
(Xev flies the moth back to the Lexx)
(In the city, Stan
is really tired. The weight slides off. The blade slides
PRINCE: Look - he's back already. He didn't last long at all.
Still, he'll get another turn. And another, and another
KAI: I think - you
enjoy your job (The dead sound surprisingly disapproving)
I'm very good with pain
(On the Lexx, Xev is pacing the bridge. 790
watches from his trolley)
XEV: How long, Lexx?
LEXX: 1 minute, 18
790: Don't think about it Xev, just do it
XEV: I have to think
790: Kai's inside the planet and can't get out. What else do you
need to know?
XEV: I think the planet is an evil place but I still don't
know. That stuff Prince was saying about upsetting the balance -
it's evil, destroy it
XEV: That makes sense, but something is holding me
back. How long Lexx?
LEXX: 40 seconds
XEV: There is something different
about Fire and Water. It's not going to be like blowing up a normal
790: I know what it is
790: You're a woman
790: So, I know how you feel about things. I know you don't want to
believe me, but I am a woman too. Deep inside I can feel the femininity, the
softness, the need to nurture. I know how difficult this is for you, but -
XEV: But what?
790: Kai comes first!
(Xev gets up
on the pedestal)
LEXX: I am now aimed at the planet
(Xev activates the template)
XEV: I have a bad
feeling about this
790: Now Xev, blow it up now! Put aside your feelings.
Only the dead man matters!
XEV: But it's a whole planet!
790: It's an evil
(Xev tries to psych herself up to it - but gets down from the
XEV: I can't
790: You can!
XEV: No, I
(Then she screams a lizard scream)
790: What was
XEV: The Cluster lizard in me, my more aggressive side
gets back up on the pedestal)
XEV: Lexx - blow up planet Fire, blow
it up now!
LEXX: As you command
(The Lexx powers up, and a bolt
heads for Fire. Xev watches it on the view screen)
XEV: What have I
790: The right thing
(The bolt hits Fire. In the
desert, Prince sees flames sweeping across the sky)
KAI: The end of your planet - and of you
PRINCE: I think I should be
sad, but I'm not
(And he's gone. Fire explodes. Xev watches as chunks
fly away, behind a wave of fire)
790: Good job Xev. And today's
lesson is always ignore your feelings and listen to the robot head
huge stream of glowing red shapes head for the Lexx. Some of them - skeletons -
fly onto the bridge, and try to grope Xev. Prince's face appears on the view
PRINCE: Thank you, for, releasing me
disappears. The glowing shapes leave the Lexx and fly past Water, toward a
790: Quick Xev - find Kai!
XEV: Lexx - you heard him. Find
(But the Lexx does not respond)
XEV: You heard him
Lexx - find Kai. We think he's out there somewhere. Let us see
(Prince reappears on the view screen)
have something to do first
PRINCE: I have a planet to
XEV: No. No!
why don't you answer me?
(The Lexx turns, to point directly at
XEV: Lexx, what are you doing?
on the view screen)
PRINCE: Not Lexx, Prince. And as I said, I have
a planet to destroy - and there it is
XEV: Lexx - do not destroy that
PRINCE: Balance, Xev, balance. You upset it, and I'm restoring it, in
my special way
XEV: Don't do it, Lexx. Don't do it!
PRINCE: He's not
listening. I'm in charge now
PRINCE: Oh - and thank you, Xev. It
has taken far too long, but this little conflict between Fire and Water is
(Prince disappears. The Lexx powers up, and fires a bolt
at Water. Xev watches. A floating city vanishes in a tidal wave, as does the
whole planet. Streams of blue shapes appear in space. Some float across the
bridge - inquisitive faces, not groping skeletons. They look at Xev, then
depart. The view screen is now back to normal, just showing
LEXX: Yes, captain?
XEV: Lexx, is that
LEXX: Yes it is me, captain. What planet would you like me
XEV: None, right now. Do you know what happened to Prince?
Who is Prince?
XEV: The one who was just in control of you. The one who had
you destroy the planet Water
LEXX: I don't remember anyone else in control of
me. You are my captain
XEV: You don't remember the planet you just blew
LEXX: There are no planets here
XEV: That's right
LEXX: And I am
XEV: We know that. And Lexx - we think Kai, the dead man in
black, is still out there somewhere. Maybe you can help 790 search for
LEXX: As you command, captain
(790 starts scanning, and homes
in on Kai floating in space)
790: Oh, joy!
and tears run down his eye screens)
(Chunks from Fire float by. A moth
flies back to the Lexx. Inside, Xev has retrieved Kai)
didn't know - I mean, I wasn't sure if you would survive when we blew up the
KAI: I did not survive, as I am already dead, but - I was not
XEV: Then I'm glad you were not
(They get back to the Lexx, walk onto the
790: Oh, joy to the maximum calculable number
KAI: Hello, 790
790: Where are you going?
down the other passageway, followed by Xev)
KAI: To wake up
790: But he's dead!
(The cryochamber. Xev has found time
to change out of her pressure suit, and is at the controls. The cryopod opens,
and Stan wakes up)
STAN: Kai. Xev. Oh, I was having a terrible
KAI: You were not dreaming
STAN: Well, no, I, see, I
thought I was, um -
STAN: Well, um - at first I was falling
with you, and then I was swimming, and then, er -
(He thinks for a
STAN: I don't remember. Now I'm here - with my
XEV: Welcome back, Stanley
(She pats him)
Welcome back to life, with your friends
(Stan stares at
STAN: Back to life? What do you mean, what happened to
XEV: You died
STAN: I died?
(He laughs in
XEV: Yes, Stanley Tweedle. You died and went down into
Fire. And now you're back alive
(Stan looks sick)
(Kai walks away)
(The Lexx is now eating chunks of Fire. The crew are on the
bridge. Xev gets onto the pedestal, activates the template)
Lexx - are we moving?
LEXX: Yes, we are moving
790: But only very
LEXX: I am still very hungry. If I eat I will be able to go
XEV: So can we make it somewhere or not?
looks at him)
KAI: There appear to be no other life bearing planets
in this system, and the next solar system is seven light years away
Lexx will take a long time to make it that far, unless he finds more food to
STAN: Well, why don't we just go to another planet in this system, and
the Lexx can eat all he wants
KAI: It must contain organic matter
Which normally means it must be a life bearing planet
STAN: Well are you sure
there's none around here?
KAI: None are visible
(The Lexx flies
around the sun. A blue light is visible in the distance)
What's that? Lexx, can we have a closer look at that star beside that
LEXX: As you command, captain - but that star is a
(The view screen shows a close up of the blue
XEV: Hmm. It's half covered with water, so it should be a
(Stan steps down into the well)
How come we haven't seen it before?
KAI: It is in the same orbit as Fire and
Water, but opposite. It was not visible from where they were, and they were not
visible from it
STAN: Interesting - so that means that there must be a lot of
organic material on that planet so Xev, tell the Lexx to go there and chow
(Xev gets down from the pedestal, walks over to
XEV: Kai - all those shapes, those things that came out of
Fire, you saw them too right?
KAI: Yes I did
XEV: What were they?
I believe they were the life essences of all those who died and made bad choices
- people who were evil in life
XEV: Didn't they go around that sun to where
the planet is?
KAI: Yes they did
STAN: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Well
then, you think we should be going there?
KAI: I do not see that you have any
other choice if you want to feed the Lexx
790: I don't care where I go
(wheels over to Kai) as long as I'm with my man!
hearts in his eyes. Xev gets back up on the pedestal)
here we go then. Lexx, head towards the planet and there you can eat all you
LEXX: Thank you, captain. Thank you very much. I have a big appetite now
and I will eat a lot
XEV: OK, little blue planet. Here we
(The Lexx heads for the planet, which has one moon. Elsewhere,
a shape is silhouetted against the sun. It's Prince, falling down to the
PRINCE: Oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain,
oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain!
(As he gets
closer, the shapes of the land masses become clearer. The little blue planet is
Earth - and Prince is heading for North America)
© Filking Fairy
© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana