Lexx 4.18 The Game
(written by Paul Donovan)
(A moth flies to the moon. Kai is inside, with a TV. Prince
appears on the screen)
PRINCE: Hello Kai. So Kai, what are your
plans for me? Or rather, what are your plans for the television set that appears
to contain me, at present?
KAI: I am transporting the television set that
seems to contain you to the Earth's moon. There I will release it on a
trajectory that will ensure the television set's complete destruction in the
high speed collision with the moon's surface
PRINCE: And do you think that
will be the end of me?
KAI: I do not know. Perhaps it will be the end of you.
Or perhaps you will be trapped on the moon. Either outcome is
(Kai switches the TV off - but nothing
PRINCE: Well I'm not as easy to get rid of as that. Before
you killed me, I recall you promising to continue our little game of chess. You
said that on your planet the truly committed had learned to play after death.
Well, you and I are both dead, and I want to pick up the game
Lexx. Stan is on the pedestal, Xev is nearby)
STAN: Kai! Well, have
you crashed Prince and his television view screen into a thousand million pieces
on that moon yet?
XEV: Why not?
KAI: Before I killed Prince's
body I promised to complete a game of chess with him
STAN: No no no no no!
Kai, listen to me! Prince is evil and he is trouble. He's just got some tricky
business up his sleeves you should have nothing to do with it. Look, just crash
him onto the moon as quick as you can and come straight back to the Lexx, just
so we can get away from this, this - stupid planet!
XEV: Right Kai, for once
I totally agree with Stan. Just crash Prince onto the moon and get back to the
Lexx as fast as you can
790: And I want you back in my arms right away
KAI: Stan and Xev want me to forgo the game of chess and crash you
into the moon without further delay
PRINCE: And right that they should want
that! But don't you want to continue the game of chess?
KAI: I am dead. I do
not have wants
PRINCE: I am also dead, and I do have wants. I want to play a
game of chess, with you, and you gave your word that we would
on the view screen on the bridge)
KAI: I gave Prince my word that I
would play the game
STAN: Kai! Now just listen to me, OK? Prince is the
evillest person who ever lived. His word means nothing, so your word to him
shouldn't mean anything either
XEV: Kai, crash him onto the moon and get back
to the Lexx, now
KAI: We will not be able to continue the game
I'm evil, yet I keep my word. You are not evil - how can you justify breaking
KAI: I do not want to break my word. It is what Stan and Xev want me
PRINCE: Don't you have any will of your own?
could make a deal. Play for stakes, for instance. By many definitions, you could
be described as being alive. You move about, you act, you react, and yet at the
same time you're actually dead. Correct?
PRINCE: And what is it
that makes you dead? You're dead because you've lost your conscious self, your
spirit, your essence, whatever you want to call it. Your body is a biological
machine, doomed to wander the universe. Not alive, and yet not fully dead.
Undead. And your conscious being, your spiritual being, is also in limbo, unable
to rest. I can put these two parts of you back together, and allow you to
complete your journey. If you beat me at the game of chess I will give you this
- as your prize (smiles)
KAI: And if I lose?
PRINCE: Xev and Stan
forfeit their lives to me. Do you accept my terms?
(The Lexx flies over the moon)
STAN: Do not do
KAI: I want to continue the game
XEV: What do
you mean, want? Kai, what's wrong with you?
STAN: I thought the dead didn't
KAI: Just one
XEV: And what's that?
KAI: The dead want to be
(Stan takes Xev aside)
STAN: Xev, listen - Kai is
acting way too weird. I think we should just turn around and go
STAN: Well, if we have to! Listen, Kai - you get rid of Prince right
now, or we are on our way out of this solar system forever and we will leave you
790: Out of the question!
STAN: We can leave you behind too 790, no
790: Oh, well that's all right then
STAN: Listen Kai, I'm serious.
You play your game with Prince and we are out of here
KAI: Your leaving does
not make any difference
XEV: Why not?
KAI: I agreed that if you lose the
game, you will forfeit your lives to Prince
STAN: You what?!
could you do this to us?
KAI: I will not lose. The game will be played in the
Brunnen G way, in the Other Zone. The Other Zone is another time and space from
this one. You will not be able to contact me, but you will be able to follow the
progress of the game
KAI: You will see. Wish me luck
No, Kai, no, just - Kai!
XEV: Good luck
(Kai steers the moth away
from the moon)
PRINCE: Where are we going?
KAI: This solar system
is in the darkest part of the Dark Zone. It should have many - doorways, to the
Other Zone. I am looking for one
PRINCE: What is this Other Zone?
Other Zone is an unstable partial universe
PRINCE: And how do you find a
doorway to it?
KAI: I have the memories of the many great man I killed. Some
of them were knowledgeable in these matters
(Kai stops the
PRINCE: What is it?
KAI: There. I can feel it. We are
(Prince grins. Kai aims the moth at a patch of space, which is
flickering. The moth goes halfway, all the way, disappears - reappears in the
sky over a black volcanic landscape of snow covered mountains. Prince appears on
the ground, holds his arms up as the moth lands nearby. Kai gets out, walks over
to Prince. There is a large square table there. Prince takes the lid off to
reveal a chess board)
STAN: That's it, Xev. We
go, right now, we just leave Kai
XEV: Kai said that leaving wouldn't make any
difference - and he never lies
STAN: Why is he doing this?! Why is he playing
with our lives?
XEV: He said that he wouldn't lose
STAN: Yeah? Well what
if he does? What happens to us?
PRINCE: Shall we continue our previous
game, or would you like to start a new one?
KAI: As our previous game was not
being played for stakes I believe we should start a new one
well, I will allow you that. But I must choose the colour
KAI: Choose the
PRINCE: I choose white. White always moves first and therefore I have
the advantage of course. You see? I'm already ahead of you
KAI: It does not
matter, as I will defeat you
PRINCE: (chuckles) Shall we
(They move around to stand on the correct side of the board.
The chess pieces transform, becoming the heads of various Lexx
BLACK - King Kai, Queen Xev, Bishop Time Prophet, Knight Stan,
The pawns are moth breeders
WHITE - King Prince, Queen Bunny,
Bishop Vlad, Knight Priest, Rook His Divine Shadow
The pawns are ATF
There are levers and handles around the board. As they are
pressed, squares open allowing the pieces to move on pillars. There are glimpses
of cogs underneath, and clanking noises
I don't play chess, so if you
find any mistakes let me know. Looking from White's side, the rows are 1-8 going
towards Black, and A-H going from left to right)
Move 1 - WP to
BR790: Boring opening move. He is clearly going for control of the
centre, which you of course will not let happen - will you Kai?
pieces and players can hear each other. Kai leans over, looks into box, makes
Move 2 - BP to E5
BNSTAN: Help me out here. What
exactly is going on in this game?
BKKAI: The object of the game is to defeat
or checkmate the enemy king, which in our case is Prince
BNSTAN: Ha! We're
gonna defeat and checkmate you!
WKPRINCE: You wish! I'm sorry, but I will not
be defeated. Prince is a far more experienced player than Kai, and will beat him
- but not before having destroyed most of Kai's pieces, including you, along the
WKPRINCE: You'll see. Quite amusing when it
BNSTAN: You been a piece in this game before?
times. It's one of Prince's favourite ploys, to lure one of his enemies into a
game that he cannot hope to win. Many have tried, but he has never been
BQXEV: Kai is a Brunnen G warrior turned into a Divine Assassin.
He's designed to fight. He'll defeat you
WNPRIEST: But look! My prince is making his second move. I'm
sure it will be brilliant
Move 3 - WB to C4
(The bishop moves
below the squares - just the cross on the headdress showing)
Kai are now sitting on folding metal chairs - and the board has changed
location. They are now on snow-covered grass)
WBVLAD: Yes - bring me
right out into the centre, where I can slaughter the black pieces who dare to
Move 4 - BB to C5
WBVLAD: What an original
WKPRINCE: Your mighty Brunnen G warrior is exactly duplicating all our
moves! What a clever strategy (laughs)
BNSTAN: You do have a better
plan than copying Prince's moves, don't ya Kai?
(The board is now on
damp earth, by grassy rocks, with mist blowing behind)
do you have any understanding of the game of chess, or am I going to defeat you
in a matter of a few moves?
KAI: I do not have a deep understanding of chess,
as I have only played one incomplete game with you. But my brain was altered by
bioscholars on the Cluster to deal efficiently with situations involving
strategy and counterstrategy, such as this, so I will defeat you
Move 5 -
WQ to E2
WQBUNNY: Hi guys. I'm the White Queen. I think I can go any
direction that I want
BNSTAN: Bunny queen - you won't attack any of us, will
you? You're a nice girl, aren't you?
WQBUNNY: No, no - I don't want to attack
anybody - but I'm not exactly sure I can control what I do
Move 6 - BN to
BNSTAN: That's right Kai - send out your best troops
a sensible strategy - but you are not doing it. Look behind you - you've blocked
your own queen from getting out, whereas our queen is well-positioned to inflict
WKPRINCE: And we all know queens are the most dangerous pieces on the
BQXEV: Kai, let me out! I wanna do some damage to them!
Move 7 -
WP to D3
BNSTAN: Ha! Two Stanley knights on the move! Better run for your
lives, whiteys! Ha ha!
Move 8 - BN to C6
Move 9 - WP to C3
- BN to E7
(BN hums as he moves. The knight is a vaguely horse-shaped
metal cylinder, with a gap underneath so they can move over the other pieces,
with a mace just above it)
WKPRINCE: That's a bold move. Retreating
before you even have to
BNSTAN: I'm only strengthening our centre
11 - WP to F4
BR790: Hey, white pawn! Yes, you. You've just been
WQBUNNY: Yeah! What's a sacrifice?
WBVLAD: A sacrifice is when
a player deliberately gives up one of his own pieces to gain another advantage.
For instance, Prince has clearly moved our pawn into this position, to seduce
Kai into taking it. But to take it would be to remove a critical black pawn from
the centre, weakening Kai's defence
WNPRIEST: So, my prince has made a most
clever move. If Kai takes the white pawn, he will lose control of the centre. If
he does not take it, Prince will certainly take the black pawn and be one piece
ahead, and established in a dangerously forward position. Either choice is to
BQXEV: Kai, please let me out of here! I'm your most
powerful piece, and I really wanna kick some white ass!
(The board is
now on a bare stretch of dark earth)
Move 12 - BP to F4 - takes
(BP has an axe, which splits WP's head in two. Blood splashes out,
and then the piece disappears, allowing BP to take its place)
Finally, some action!
WBVLAD: We just lost a pawn
WNPRIEST: And you've
just lost the game!
WBVLAD: And look -
I've got a straight line on the black pawn. Hey black pawn - you are all alone
out there, and you are as good as dead!
WKPRINCE: All in all a very bad move,
Kai! I can't believe he fell for that so easily. We're now in a very superior
position. I predict that he'll resign in a few moves
BR790: You're down a
piece and trying to put a positive spin on it
WKPRINCE: Don't be ridiculous.
Prince chose to sacrifice his pawn in the hope that Kai would do precisely what
he did. The game is now very much to our advantage
PRINCE: This game
mirrors the larger game that you and I have been playing since we met, don't you
KAI: It does not mirror the larger game, it is the final battle. If I
lose, Stan and Xev forfeit their lives to you
PRINCE: That's a very good
outcome, for me
Move 13 - WP to D4
BBTIME: Kai! You can see this,
can't you? As a bishop, I'd rather not be taken by a lowly pawn
me take her! I'm tired of hanging back here
Move 14 - BB to
BBTIME: Thank you Kai!
WKPRINCE: Now that's what I call a cowardly
move. Your position is bad therefore you should have tried something
WNPRIEST: In the game of chess you're either going forward or backward -
it's much like a real war in that regard. If you go backward you tend to lose.
To win, you must attack. You, are not attacking
WKPRINCE: Which means you're
WNPRIEST: You're coming second
WKPRINCE: And there are only
BNSTAN: We are not coming in
BNSTAN: We're strengthening our position, right Kai?
Move 15 -
WB to F4 - takes BP
WBVLAD: Ha ha! Finally, time for your blessing - from
(WB's axe splits BP's head)
(On the Lexx, Xev is
standing up, stretching her arms out, when her right hand just fades
XEV: My hand! What's happening to my hand?!
STAN: Oh no.
He's losing the game!
XEV: I want my hand back!
STAN: Come back here right
now, just end the game!
Move 16 - BP to D6
WKPRINCE: Another bold
move from the Brunnen G warrior
WBVLAD: Your one pawn advantage is gone.
White controls the centre. I'd say this game is over
WKPRINCE: I'd have to
agree. Bunny queen?
WQBUNNY: It looks bad for you
WKPRIEST: Oh bad, worse
than bad. Black has lost the centre, it's time for Black to resign
Resign! Resign! Resign! Resign!
BQXEV: We don't have to resign, do
BKKAI: No. Our position does not appear to be advantageous, but as I am
not threatened with checkmate and most of our pieces remain on the board, to
resign now would be premature
BNSTAN: Well, you're full of
BKKAI: We are all just chess pieces in a continuum and can only
think inside the box. But I know that it is harder to defend than to attack.
However, I am confident that Kai will choose the right moves for me
Kai, start playing better, I don't wanna lose!
BQXEV: Kai will win, I know
(The board is now by a lake, mountains
reflecting in the water. Prince twirls around)
WKPRINCE: Now, let's
see what my master has up his sleeve
(Prince turns his chair around,
sits down, makes his move)
Move 17 - WB to D3
(sarcastic) Now that's a bold move
WBVLAD: It's an excellent move.
We are building the centre into a solid wall through which you will never
Move 18 - BN to G6
WNPRIEST: We are over here! Woo hoo! What
are you trying to do, retreat into the corner?
Move 19 - WB to
BNSTAN: Another bold move! (laughs)
WBVLAD: It's sensible.
We are ahead. Our defensive wall is built. The game is about to get
WNPRIEST: For us, not for you
BQXEV: We'll see about
WKPRINCE: Yes, you will
Move 20 - BK to G8, BR to F8 -
(BK slides across - his arms sticking out of the top of a
metal cylinder, allowing him to pick BR up move him to new
BR790: Thank you Kai. By finally castling you have allowed
790 out to crush the enemy!
BNSTAN: Envy our defence now,
Move 21 - WP to H3
BR790: Talk about bold
(sarcastic) That's the smartest move I've ever seen
and see before you pass judgement
Move 22 - BR to E8
it - send 790 into battle, right down the centre
WBVLAD: We are really
Move 23 - WN to D2
WNPRIEST: Just look at our centre! It's
powerful and well-structured. Your pieces are scattered about in each other's
way, and are too far back from the action!
WNPRIEST: Our position just gets
stronger and stronger
(The board has now moved to some mossy
Move 24 - BQ to E7
BRHDS: The game goes in our favour. I am finally free to
kill and destroy. Our king is well protected. White controls the centre, and
Black has hardly advanced from where it began
Move 25 - WK to C1, WR to
D1 - castles
(WK is wearing his white outfit. He moves WR over his
WKPRINCE: This game is definitely one-sided
Resign! Resign! Resign!
(The board is now on black volcanic rock,
black hills behind)
Move 26 - BP to C5
WKPRINCE: A barely
supported pawn attack, on a well defended centre? (laughs) We said
resign, not commit suicide!
PRINCE: That move reminds me of your personal
history. You lost your life leading a hopeless attack against a well defended
enemy, did you not?
KAI: Yes. But this attack will allow me to recover that
PRINCE: To do that you will have to win the game. And you are a very
long way from doing that
Move 27 - WK to B1
WKPRINCE: Why not? This is an excellent move. I no longer need to fight.
All we have to do is wait for the black side to self-destruct, which is exactly
what they're doing!
(Board on green rocks again)
- BP to D4 - takes WP
Move 29 - WP to D4 - takes BP
(On the Lexx,
Stan is on the pedestal - and his right hand fades away)
Move 30 - BP to A5
Our centre is as strong as ever, and now one of your lone pawns dares to
approach the board's halfway mark. We tremble with fear!
BQXEV: Because Kai is playing our pieces, and he
will not be defeated
(Whites laugh. Prince grins)
moves back to the stony plain)
Move 31 - WN to F3
like being a knight, especially in this game (sings) I like being a
knight, especially in this game, I like being a knight, I like being a knight! I
like being a knight, especially in this game, I like being a knight, I like
being a knight!
WNPRIEST: The knight is the most fun piece to
play. We can't go far, but we're the only ones who can jump over other pieces,
and that makes us very dangerous on a crowded board, such as this
Move 32 - BB to D7
WKPRINCE: I don't think I've ever seen a
game where the enemy just moves about in its own end so much
know they're going to lose - they're just prolonging the agony
Move 33 -
WP to G4
Move 34 - BP to H6
Move 35 - WR to G1
Move 36 - BP to
WKPRINCE: Another puny and pathetic attack by a single pawn. But at
least you're finally trying to venture down to my side of the board
37 - WP to G5
WRHDS: Thank you, Prince. Make a space for me so I can
destroy the black king
Move 38 - BP to G5 - takes WP
Move 39 - WB to
G5 - takes BP
(Blood splashes on WB's face - she
WBVLAD: I enjoyed that
Move 40 - BP
WKPRINCE: Oo, I'm really nervous. I'm being attacked by a pawn -
and a truly bizarre and unsupported attack, I might add
WNPRIEST: An attack
of the desperate
WNPRIEST: Don't you
WRHDS: I certainly agree
Move 41 - WP to
BR790: I thought you were ahead
BNSTAN: Yeah, I thought the game
was all yours
BR790: What a lame move
WKPRINCE: Don't be
WNPRIEST: We're ahead
BNSTAN: It's a bad
BNSTAN: You should have taken our pawn
WKPRINCE: He has made your
pawn part of our defence. A pawn cannot attack the piece directly in front of
it, so he is now nicely blocked where he is. I have nothing to worry
BNSTAN: Bad move, bad move, bad move!
WNPRIEST: It could be
described as a cautious move, but not a bad one
Move 42 - BB to C6
Move 43 - WR to G4
Good move, my prince!
Move 44 - BB to A5
WKPRINCE: Some of the
black moves have been OK, some have been bad but this is completely bizarre.
Your bishop has moved one space - weakening the centre and not threatening any
white pieces in any serious way. Have you run out of ideas?
WNPRIEST: Or are
you simply moving your pieces at random?
WKPRINCE: Seriously, moves like this
are a cause for concern - for you
BNSTAN: Kai! Kai, you do know how to play
this game, don't ya?
BNSTAN: Are you gonna let us down?
(The board is now on black rocky ground by a tiny stream, beneath
an overhanging cliff)
KAI: Should I answer him?
PRINCE: If you
like. But you must remember he's just a piece in a game. You're the player. He
may have opinions, but he does not have ideas
(Kai leans over the
board, looks at his pieces)
KAI: I will not let you down
Yay! Kai! Kai! Kai!
Move 45 - WP to H4
WNPRIEST: Brilliant move!
WRHDS: Well planned
WNPRIEST: My prince is an
excellent chess player. Look what he has done. If your knight doesn't take our
pawn he will be sacrificed for nothing!
WKPRINCE: And if he does take our
WRHDS: I will crush him, and the way will be open for me to crush
your king too
Move 46 - BB to D2 - takes WN
Absurd. Silly. Surely it is some mistake, and you intended to advance another
piece! But what can I say? I'm the victim of a desperate attack by a desperate
player, who thinks -
(BB's axe splits his head)
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
(The board is now on grassy rocks,
Move 47 - WN to D2 - takes BB
(WN moves over BB,
drops his mace down on her. Blood splashes WB, then
WNPRIEST: My prince didn't have to think long to make this
WNPRIEST: It's payback time!
WKPRINCE: This game is finally starting
to get bloody - and that's the way I like it!
Move 48 - BR to
BR790: Contend with me now!
Move 49 - WP to H5
Move 50 - BR
to G5 - takes WB
BR790: This is going to feel so good
shouldn't. Because it is so stupid, don't you agree?
WBVLAD: I mean, I know I am an important piece, but the rook is more
important, particularly in the later stages of the game. And by attacking me,
Black is guaranteed to lose its rook
BR790: Who cares?! It's all worth it
just for the feeling I'm about to get
WBVLAD: At least I get the satisfaction
of knowing that you are next
Move 51 - WR to G5 - takes BR
raises axe - drops it)
WRHDS: Hello - and goodbye
Move 52 -
BN to F4
BNSTAN: Ha ha! Here I come. Hello, Bunny queen
you trying to kill me, Stanley knight?
BNSTAN: In fact, I am
makes me mad. And you won't like me when I'm mad. So maybe I'm going to have to
Move 53 - WQ to F3
BNSTAN: (laughs) Just
kidding, Bunny queen. Can't we still be friends?
WQBUNNY: Hmm - no
Hmm. Then I'm gonna have to kill one of your men
Move 54 - BN to D3 -
BNSTAN: What was that you were saying about the game going your
way? I think you should apologise to Kai now
moves into position over WB, drops his mace, laughs)
Move 55 - WP to
Move 56 - BN to D5 - takes WP
BNSTAN: I never did like you
(BN's mace splats WP)
BNSTAN: Oh, that feels
WKPRINCE: The violence! Ah, the violence! Let's see where things stand
BKKAI: We have one more pawn on the board than you, and one more minor
WKPRINCE: For the moment! Our pawn will take your Stanley knight on the
BNSTAN: You mean me?
WKPRINCE: Yes I mean you
WKPRINCE: Goodbye! And we have two rooks compared to your one,
and you know how dangerous two rooks can be, once the board has started to clear
WRHDS: As we will soon see demonstrated
WKPRINCE: And let's compare
the position of the black king to me. He is threatened by my queen and my two
rooks, and all that he has deployed against me is one short-hopping Stanley
Tweedle knight and a blocked pawn!
BNSTAN: Watch your tongue there, Prince
king, my mace has your name on it
WKPRIEST: Tweedle-deedle, face reality. We
are important pieces when the board is crowded, but this board is no longer
crowded. So, have a rest, take a pill, and enjoy the action from the
BNSTAN: Ha ha. Don't
(On the Lexx, Xev is now missing her right arm and
both legs, and is hovering in the air. Stan has lost his left arm, half his
STAN: My head is itchy
790: Then scratch it
Funny. Xev, help me out?
XEV: I can't move. Come
(Stan walks over
to Xev, who scratches his hat)
XEV: Where does it itch?
STAN: There, near the back, yeah, yeah, yeah, OK, good,
(Stan looks at Xev)
STAN: Shall we say goodbye
XEV: I don't wanna say goodbye
(The board is now on black
ground, near a snow-covered ridge)
Move 57 - WR to G1
He didn't take me, he didn't take me! (laughs)
BNSTAN: What are you,
BNSTAN: I thought Prince knew how to play this game
He does - very well. He could have taken you, Stanley knight, but instead of
doing that obvious and simple move he is sending our rooks in to kill your king
and end the game
Move 58 - BN to C3
BNSTAN: (laughs) Yes!
We make a great team. What was that you were saying about knights not being that
useful on a crowded board?
KAI: Check, I believe I am supposed to say, as
your king is threatened by my knight
BNSTAN: Ha ha! How does it feel now,
PRINCE: All part of the plan. All part of the plan
59 - WK to A1
BNSTAN: Being a big fat king attacked by a lowly
WKPRINCE: Mildly threatening, I'll admit - but only mildly
The game is ours!
WNPRIEST: Don't be ridiculous
BNSTAN: He should have
attacked us with his king instead of retreating into the corner. It's going to
cost you the game
WKPRINCE: I suspect that he has moved me into this corner
to get me out of the way, so that he can concentrate on his game ending attack
against your king! After all, you can't put me in check here
BNSTAN: For a
WKPRINCE: Precisely - by which time the game will be over
And you will have lost!
(The board has moved back to the empty
Move 60 - BB to E4 - takes WP
WQBUNNY: I don't like
you being there
BBTIME: I do not like you
Move 61 - WR to G7 - takes
WNPRIEST: You don't have to think about it. There is
only one place you can move. Into the corner
WRHDS: There are now no pieces
left to protect you from me, the other Divine Shadow rook, and the white
WNPRIEST: I'd say you were in a spot of trouble
WQBUNNY: I think
Prince is a really really good chess player!
(The sky darkens. The
board is now on a snowy bank by a lake)
Move 62 - BK to
KAI: When you are defeated, will you deliver on your
PRINCE: If you defeat me, I will - but you will not defeat
KAI: I will defeat you
(As Kai is talking, the pieces on the
board are just visible - in the right places. Top marks for whoever was doing
KAI: How will you deliver on your promise?
The world of the living was never really a very good fit for me. Everyone else
was alive, I was not. I never really understood how things worked. But in a
universe like this (laughs) I know exactly who I am, and exactly what I
can do. I can bring you back to life, so that you can have a proper death, and
find the rest that you want. But (taps board) - you'll have to beat me
to get that
KAI: I will beat you
PRINCE: (laughs) Well it doesn't
look like that at the moment, does it? Everything's becoming rather
Move 63 - WQ to G3
WNPRIEST: (laughs) Our two rooks
are in line with our queen, and you are all alone in the corner. I think you
could say that it doesn't get much worse
(The board is now on
snow-covered grass, a windy plain)
PRINCE: Why did you agree to play
this game? I mean, looking at your predicament now, do you think it was a good
KAI: Sometimes the life essence of a Brunnen G who died made it to the
Dream Zone, the time and space from where our consciousness derives. It is where
my life came from, and where I would like it to return, but it can never return
there, until my body has properly died
Move 64 - BB to G6
Aww. That is so sad - for you! (chuckles)
BBTIME: I have been
sacrificed! Good luck to the rest of you
Move 65 - WP to G6 - takes
WNPRIEST: Yes! Your piece advantage is now gone!
you're looking rather undefended over there in your corner, black king. There's
nothing between you and four of my white pieces
BKKAI: But those four pieces
are all in a line. Are you sure that that is to your advantage?
it isn't. And hey, white king, we're here - for you!
WKPRINCE: Well that's my
point exactly! Here you are, weakly pecking away at me, while your own king is
undefended against a strong attack!
XEV: I will defend him
(laughs) I'm sorry - you're in the wrong place. Once again, the game is
nicely going our way
(Prince leans forward, looks at
PRINCE: The game cannot last long now
Move 66 - BQ to
(WQ looks worried for BQ)
WQBUNNY: Aren't you going to
get killed if you go there?
WKPRINCE: It's what they call a short
WNPRIEST: Cut off in the bloom of youth!
WKPRINCE: Over before it
BQXEV: I do my duty willingly. I know that Kai has a good reason for
my sacrifice, and he will win the game without me
WKPRINCE: Your undefended
king is under a powerful attack. You have no advantage in pieces, and you're
about to lose your queen. I'd say the time has come to start weeping
(Prince is walking on the snowy
PRINCE: Are you ready to resign now? Are Stan and Xev
PRINCE: But you will admit that I have the
KAI: Many would consider you to
PRINCE: Many?! Ha! All!
Then make your move
PRINCE: This is all so easy. First, I will take your
Move 67 - WR to E1 - takes BQ
(Prince sits and looks at
BQXEV: Kai will win somehow, I know it
(On the Lexx,
Xev now has just her head and torso - Stan just his head)
happens if we disappear completely?
XEV: I think that will only happen if Kai
loses the game
STAN: Yeah, but if he does lose it, what then?
STAN: Xev - look at us
WKPRINCE: Ah, let us stop and savour
BKKAI: Yes. Let us savour your mistake
WKPRINCE: Ha! Wishful thinking. We have now clearly entered the
endgame, and the outcome is certain. The only question remaining is which piece
gets to be lucky enough to crush your head
BR790: Vengeance is
Move 68 - BR to E1 - takes WR
WKPRINCE: That's a bold and
WRHDS: I served my purpose by killing your queen. I accept my
(No blood when WR is splatted - just black gunge. Prince looks
WKPRINCE: I'm really trembling
You should be
BNSTAN: It's getting really crowded down here
BKKAI: And remember the object of the game is to kill the enemy
king, not take the most pieces
WKPRINCE: It's very difficult to win the game without a
queen - and you don't have one
WNPRIEST: It just doesn't work
BR790: But not always
BNSTAN: And especially not this
(The board is on black rocks, water behind, mist
Move 69 - WQ to E1 - takes BR
BR790: I willingly
sacrifice myself for the great cause. It is the most beautiful sacrifice of the
WQBUNNY: You shouldn't have taken our piece
BNSTAN: You're playing on
the wrong team, Bunny queen
Move 70 - BN to E1 - takes WQ
You're not going to kill me, are you, Stanley knight?
(BN moves into
position over WQ. Prince looks at Kai. WN and WQ look at each other. BN grins,
drops his mace. WN sobs)
BNSTAN: Who was it that was just bragging
about having a queen advantage? (chuckles)
BNSTAN: Did Prince just
start feeling sorry for us and decide to give his queen away? Or has Kai been
playing a bit better than you give him credit for?
BKKAI: Or - did Prince
become overconfident that he would win, and make a mistake?
board is now on long frosty grass, by a pool)
KAI: I remember once
being under attack in a balloon where the only strategy available to me was to
wait for the enemy to make a mistake - which, eventually happened
That strategy sometimes works. Usually it doesn't. Do not assume that it will
work this time
Move 71 - WR to H7 - check
72 - BK to G8
WRHDS: Too bad you can only move one square at a
Move 73 - WP to F7 - takes BP - check
(The board moves again - black rocks, mist)
And now, the king defends himself!
(BK plunges a dagger into
Move 74 - BK to H7 - takes WR
Move 75 - WP to F8 - turns into
WQBUNNY: Hey! I'm back - and the board's wide open. Who do you want me
WNPRIEST: Because it's a sad,
sad, sad, sad, sad, sad day, Bunny queen
BNSTAN: For you
Move 76 - BN
to C2 - checkmate
(BN chuckles. WK scared)
Move 77 - WK to B1
Move 78 - BN to B1 - takes
(BN moves over WK, who close his eyes. BN sighs happily, drops his
mace - and WK explodes in a ball of flames)
(On the Lexx, Stan and Xev's
bodies reappear. They laugh, hug each other)
(The board is now on mossy
rocks, by the edge of a lake)
KAI: The game is over. I have won, you
PRINCE: So I have
(Prince gets up, walks
KAI: And now you must deliver on your
(Prince laughs. Kai gets up, but Prince raises his arms and
disappears. Kai goes back to the moth, pushes the TV out, and takes off. He
flies out of the Other Zone, back into normal space, and onto the
XEV: What did you win?
KAI: Prince promised to return life
to my body, if I won
XEV: And? Are you alive now?
KAI: No (walks
STAN: Well the next time, you will listen to me. Prince does not
keep his promises!
XEV: Maybe he will later - I hope
© Filking Fairy
© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana