Lexx 4.24 Yo Way Yo
(written by Paul Donovan)
(White House Press Conference)
PRIEST: Today is a
happy day. The Earth has been saved, the alien mother ship has been destroyed,
and all the bad carrots have stopped working. Yes, it is a good day. Of course,
Tokyo and much of coastal Japan have been laid waste - but we don't really care
about that, do we? First Lady Bunny and I are going to celebrate by cancelling
all appointments, taking the week off and having fun. The rest of you can go
back to work, or do whatever it is you do, so good luck, good day, and
(someone whispers to him) - what? What? (Priest walks off
TV ANCHOR: Well, that was President Priest addressing
America and the world regarding the historic defeat of the most dangerous threat
our planet has ever faced - that is, until he was interrupted by - something
important, I suppose (looks worried)
(In the Oval
GENERAL: Mr President, When the asteroid was destroyed by
the Lexx and all the bad carrots all over the world stopped working, it was
assumed that the alien threat had ended. However, there's been a small
DEFENCE SEC: Actually, a rather large development, Mr
GENERAL: We now think that the asteroid that landed off Japan may
not have been the actual alien mother ship - just a small probe, or rather a
decoy sent out in advance of the much larger mother ship
PRIEST: Larger? How
much larger? Wasn't the first asteroid rather huge? (he hugs Bunny
GENERAL: The first asteroid was about the size of the city of
Tokyo, and the second one, now approaching Earth, appears to be twice the size
of the moon
PRIEST: First Lady Bunny and I have to get off this planet right
away. You can arrange that, can't you, General Klebstock?
President (gives him a helmet)
PRIEST: What's this?
were shot down over Vietnam during the war, were you not, Mr
PRIEST: Yes, yes, of course - but what's that got to do with this
GENERAL: The only hope that the human race has left is to fight
the aliens one on one when the asteroid gets here
DEFENCE SEC: We've gotta
send up everything we have - every stealth fighter, every F16, every last
Vietnam era F4
GENERAL: All serving pilots and former pilots are gonna have
to do their duty
DEFENCE SEC: Even you, Mr President. We're gonna lick those
GENERAL: We'll go down like men
(Space - The asteroid
passes the moon)
Opening titles (sing along, it's your last
Yo Way Yo
Yo Way Yo Hom Var Ray
Yo Way Rah Jerum Brunnen
Yo Way Yo Hom Var Ray
Yo A Rah Jerum Brunnen G
Yo A Rah Jerum Brunnen
(Lexx - Stan, Xev, Kai and 790 are on the bridge)
What kind of a planet should we find now, huh? Say, a happy nature one, hot
party one, or a sex starved women in prison one, hot men with big members
KAI: I remind you that we are in the darkest part of the Dark Zone.
There are very few good planets in this universe, and even fewer in this part of
PRINCE: He's right (he's appeared from nowhere, and
XEV: You're dead
STAN: How come you're
PRINCE: Yes, Xev, I am dead. Or rather more accurately, I'm Death. You
see, when I was ruler of the planet Fire, I knew what I was supposed to do, but
I was never quite sure of exactly who I was. And then, it all became clear.
First the planet Fire was destroyed, then my body here on Earth, and now the
Earth itself has a date with destiny. So you see, I'm not just Prince - I'm also
STAN: You're Death. What's that supposed to mean?
PRINCE: Death is a
familiar face, Stanley - my face, that has appeared to people throughout the
ages when they were about to die. I was there to welcome them to the other side,
so to speak
XEV: And why are you here now?
PRINCE: That's a very good
question (he strokes her chin) Xev
STAN: But since the Lexx
destroyed Fire and Water, there is no afterlife
XEV: Is there?
all the dead from Fire and Water, like you and President Priest, they all went
down to Earth, which is one big reason why we never wanna go back down
PRINCE: But you will, Stanley. As I said, the Earth is about to have a
date with destiny, and you are a very important part of that
STAN: No! We are
never going back there. No way, no how
XEV: You can say whatever you want, we
don't believe you - you're a liar
STAN: Yeah, you're just trying to scare us
again, aren't you?
XEV: So what's your real plan? What trick are you up to
PRINCE: No tricks, Xev. As I said, mine is the face that appears to
people before they're about to die. Just before (he looks at Kai) their
death (Prince vanishes)
XEV: How'd he do that?
790: He's an evil
STAN: Oh yeah, he is an evil spirit, and that's why I don't believe
anything he says. Look, he's just trying to spook us
XEV: What do you think
he meant by Earth having a date with destiny?
KAI: I do not know
Look, Prince is a trickster, he's just laying games with our heads, there's
nothing more to him
XEV: No, but really - how can he just appear and
disappear like this?
790: Like I said, he's an evil spirit, that's what they
KAI: If Prince is the personification of Death, as he says, his visit here
would have a specific purpose
STAN: Well Kai, you're dead. Did Prince appear
to you just before you died?
KAI: (thinks about this) No
Well, see, he's a liar!
XEV: What if he's not a liar? What if he really is
Death, who was he here to visit - you, me, us, all of us?
790: The more the
merrier, I say Kai's already dead, so that means it has to be either you or
Stan, and preferably both
STAN: Look, but anyway, none of this matters. You
know Prince is connected to Earth, and we are never going back there, contrary
to what he says - ever! Lexx - I command you to speed up, I command you to go as
fast as you can away from that planet that we just came from, that we never want
to go back to
(There is no reply from the Lexx)
Lexx - can you hear me?
LEXX: Could you repeat that, please? I did not hear
all of it
STAN: I command you to speed up, I command you to go as fast as you
can. Did you hear that?
LEXX: Could you please
repeat the command? I forget what you said
STAN: Lexx, I command you to go at
full speed. Lexx, are you going at full speed?
LEXX: No, Captain, I am
LEXX: Because I am very very tired and do not have the
energy to do so
(Dr Longbore's lab)
LONGBORE: The Noah is
finally complete. I thank you all for your hard work and dedication. Truly sorry
that I cannot bring you all along with me, but those left behind will die
comforted by the knowledge that they have helped save the human species. You are
arranged in alphabetical order, I will read the names of those selected in that
same order. I ask those selected to step forward and board the Noah as soon as
they are called. Anderson, S - Ashcroft, P - Cross, H (all pretty
(Prince appears on Longbore's laptop screen)
mine, Dr Longbore
(The asteroid is over London, Paris, Washington.
People flee in terror as it opens up. Aliens swarm out, and giant tentacles
crash into the Earth)
(Lexx bridge. 790 is wired up to the
790: So, the Lex is getting senile
do you mean, senile?
790: What I mean, love slave with no education, is that
when living things get old, they often suffer from progressive senile dementia.
The Lexx is a living thing, and he's on the way out
STAN: But he's only 6000
years old, that's not old for a giant living insect craft
KAI: Yes it is.
Lexx is coming to the end of his natural life span
STAN: Lexx, I command you
not to die on us - at least, not until we find ourselves a decent planet
Don't worry - he did not hear your utterly insensitive remark. He's also getting
hard of hearing
STAN: We gotta find ourselves a new planet, we gotta find
ourselves a new home fast
XEV: But how? Most of the planets around here have
been all destroyed by Lyekka. Kai - is it true what 790 says?
evidence points to that conclusion
XEV: Maybe that's why Prince was here - to
visit the Lexx
STAN: I'm getting a headache
XEV: What do we do?
There is only one choice
STAN: It's a bad choice, I don't wanna make
XEV: We have to
STAN: No, we don't have to! There's gotta be another
XEV: Kai - is there any other way?
XEV: Stan, we don't want
to be stuck in the middle of space
KAI: The Noah vessel which Dr Longbore is
building using technology supplied by 790 should be completed by now
Well - Lexx - I command you to turn around and head back to Earth
you command, Captain
STAN: I hope Longbore hasn't finished the Noah and is
LONGBORE: And finally,
Zimmerman, B. I understand your disappointment at not having been selected for
the voyage, but all is not doom and gloom for you. Some time ago I instructed
the bots that built the Noah to begin building a small but ultra dense particle
collider, based on the advanced technology used in the Noah's drive system. This
collider is now operational. Not long after the Noah leaves this planet
GEEK: Without us!
LONGBORE: - the collider will reach the energy level
required to determine the mass of the Higgs-Boson. Achieving this energy level
will of course also destroy this planet by collapsing it into an ultra dense
particle about the size of a pea, but you will die knowing the true mass of the
final building block of nature
GEEK: You know how hard we all worked for you,
Dr Longbore, and a lot of us are really disappointed with the crew you chose. I
mean, we can't help but notice that none of the guys were selected, except for
GEEKETTE: And the only girls you're taking are the good looking
LONGBORE: I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but you know full well that
all selections were based purely upon my superior sense of smell to determine
the histocompatability of those needed to build another human race
don't agree, Dr Longbore. The selection is not fair. We did the work, not them.
We deserve to go on the Noah
LONGBORE: You are not selected and that is that.
Now behave like adults and accept your fate. You should thank me for letting you
share in the joy of discovering the mass of the Higgs-Boson
GEEK: We don't
care about the Higgs-Boson! We just wanna get off the planet before the aliens
get us. We did the work! We have a right to go!
(The scientists head
towards Longbore, but bots keep them back)
LONGBORE: Did you not
think that I would anticipate the possibility that those rejected might respond
aggressively? All you've achieved is to confirm how right I am to leave you
(Alien tentacles crushing people, snapping Big Ben in
(An airforce base. Priest is standing in front of a jet, with Bunny,
army guys and TV crews gathered to see him off)
PRIEST: You know,
General Klebstock, you spend 30 years in the jungle, you forget a lot of things
- especially things like flying airplanes
GENERAL: Don't worry, Mr President.
As soon as you strap yourself in, it all comes back
(Priest tries to
make a run for it)
GENERAL: Mr President!
PRIEST: I forgot
something, I have to get it
GENERAL: Mr President, the whole world's watching
PRIEST: The whole world can wait, I forgot - my toothbrush. And I can't
fly without it, it's bad luck, you know? Terrible bad luck, so I have to fetch
it - won't be long
BUNNY: I've got one, Mr President!
is gone. Priest resigns himself to getting on the plane)
Save the Earth, Mr President
BUNNY: I'm going too
GENERAL: I'm sorry, it's
BUNNY: But I have to be with the President!
don't have to go Bunny. It doesn't matter
BUNNY: It does too matter. I have
to be with you
GENERAL: You're a brave woman, First Lady Bunny (Bunny
salutes him) Wish I could say the same for your husband
gets into the front of the plane, Bunny gets into the seat behind
PRIEST: Bunny - I, err, - I, err, - I have a confession to
BUNNY: What Mr President?
PRIEST: I don't know how to fly this plane
- I mean, I'm not a pilot, I'm not a war hero and I never was in Vietnam. I'm a
really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad man, from a bad, bad, bad planet called Fire, and
I came here with Prince after that planet was destroyed. Bunny, I'm an alien
(he's quite upset) The only reason I became President is because Priest was
able to put it into people's minds to vote for me
BUNNY: That's OK, Mr
BUNNY: Because you're still my President and I love
PRIEST: Really, why?
BUNNY: It's just the way I am
PRIEST: Bunny, I
can't fly this plane
BUNNY: Well, I don't care - I'm going with
PRIEST: Really, Bunny, stay behind
BUNNY: For what? Come on, Mr
President. Let's get up there and kick some alien butt!
PRIEST: But all these
buttons and knobs - I don't know what any of them do! (he's nearly in
BUNNY: Well, just keep pushing them until something happens - I
mean, it can't be that hard, it's not rocket surgery
PRIEST: Yes, yes - I
suppose we can do that, can't we? (pushes buttons randomly. The engine
PRIEST: Yes! Ha ha!
TV ANCHOR: And there you have it.
President Reginald J Priest and First Lady Bunny, taking to the skies to fight
the alien menace. And now, a brief look at the weather
normal weather forecast. Instead of clouds, there are pictures of alien
asteroids. Prince is there)
PRINCE: Well, the weather's looking bad.
It's bad here, bad there - bad everywhere. Nasty alien creatures raining down
from the skies, devouring all life on this planet. And what does that mean to
you, you ask? It means you're mine. You're all mine
(The jet plane is
in the air. We can hear Priest and Bunny screaming as it rolls over and heads
towards the ground. Prince appears on the monitor)
PRIEST: My Prince!
PRINCE: Push that stick thing to the left as
you pull back on it
PRIEST: This one?
PRINCE: Yes. Very good. Now, pull
slowly back on the blue handle
(The plane levels
PRIEST: Oh, oh, oh thank you (kisses at the screen) I
always knew you cared for me
PRINCE: As a matter of fact I don't care for
you at all - but, from time to time you have proved useful, and as I'm in need
of your services right now, your death would be quite inconvenient
I'll do anything you say. You are my Prince
PRINCE: Yes I am
Lexx, heading towards Earth)
XEV: The Lexx is so slow now. How much
longer is this going to take?
LEXX: I am sorry but I am doing my best
Lexx answered me
STAN: Lexx - who is your captain?
LEXX: You are my
STAN: That's right. Why did you answer Xev?
LEXX: Oh. I am
sorry. I got mixed up. I thought she was my captain. I am very very
STAN: Lexx - can you make it back to Earth?
LEXX: I think I can,
KAI: We are being assisted by the sun's gravity. It will not
take long now
(The Lexx reaches the Earth. The alien asteroid is
attached to it)
STAN: Oh, Lyekka, Lyekka, Lyekka
XEV: Can the
Lexx's weapon blow it up without destroying the planet?
STAN: Well, we'll
soon find out, won't we?
790: What we'll find out is if the Lexx's weapon
still works at all
STAN: Lexx - I command you-
LEXX: I like to blow up planets, and you like to blow them up too. You
are my favourite captain
STAN: That's good Lexx. Do you see that big alien
asteroid thing that is attached to the Earth?
LEXX: Yes I do Stan. And
STAN: Yes Lexx?
LEXX: I'm going to miss you
STAN: I'm going - I'm
going to miss you too, Lexx. So Lexx, I command you to fire a small shot with
your weapon at that asteroid that blows it up, but does not blow up the planet.
Do you understand?
LEXX: Yes I like to blow up planets but I wil fire just a
STAN: At the asteroid, Lexx, not at the planet
(Lexx fires a small blast at the asteroid - it doesn't even
make a dent)
STAN: OK Lexx, that's good, that was a start. You did
not blow up the planet. I want you to fire another shot at the asteroid, only
this time give it everything you got
LEXX: As you command,
(Lexx fires again, with the same result)
No, no, no, no, no Lexx! I told you to give it everything you've got!
did, Captain Stan. I am very very tired. I think I cannot fire any more shots
now. I think I have to rest
STAN: No Lexx, no. Lexx?
790: He's old and
exhausted and his weapon is out of juice. You should have told him to give it
all he's got on the first shot, but you didn't, because you're a pathetic
XEV: Shut up 790
790: OK, space slut
XEV: So what do we
KAI: Let the Lexx rest, and see if he recovers enough strength to
destroy the asteroid. In the meantime, I suggest that we determine the state of
Dr Longbore's Noah vessel
STAN: I really, really, really, don't wanna go back
to that planet
(Stan, Xev, and Kai, each in a separate moth, flying
STAN: You know, I do not like this
XEV: Do you have any
STAN: No I don't - wish I did. And Prince, you know - why did
he have to say he was Death? - makes me feel even less good about going back to
KAI: Stanley, Xev - stay close to me - no matter what happens
Huh - don't worry, I will
XEV: I'll stay close to you, Kai
Lexx - whose mind is wandering)
LEXX: Planets - blowing up planets -
yes, Captain - no, no, no, I don't like little drone arms that fly around. You
790: Perhaps I do and perhaps I don't. But do you?
do. I forget things, and sometimes I remember them again - or maybe not
But you haven't forgotten how to blow up planets?
LEXX: I like blowing up
planets. Whoosh - bang - boom!
790: I do too
LEXX: That's good
is good. Very very good. And Lexx?
790: I've looked forward to
having a conversation like this with you for a long long time
jet with Priest and Bunny, and Prince on monitor)
BUNNY: I think so!
PRINCE: Remove the big red plate and prepare
to push the orange button underneath it
PRIEST: This one?
PRIEST: And when do I push it?
PRINCE: - Now!
and Bunny eject, and land right next to the Noah. The last of the girls gets on
board. Longbore is about to get onto the lift, but Priest kicks his wheelchair
away. He and Bunny take the lift)
PRIEST: Sorry, but Prince told us.
We've got to go, and you've got to stay. Bye bye!
LONGBORE: This is my
vessel. I built it and you have no right to take it away from me
Maybe not, but we have. Sorry, t that's the way things are
(The Noah takes off - love the
picture on the side! Longbore is caught in the blast, along with most of the
scientists, except for Geek and Geekette)
GEEKETTE: Now what do we
GEEK: Determine the mass of the Higgs-Boson, of course
There's something else we can do
(On the Lexx 790 hears their
GEEKETTE: Kai? Kai, are you there? We love you, Kai, and we
want you to rescue us. We'll do anything that you want as long as you rescue us
from this doomed planet. Kai! Kai!
790: Doomed planet is right. Lexx? Are you
LEXX: I am still very tired, but I think I am less tired than
790: And is your weapon charged up and ready to perform again?
I don't think I can perform yet, but I think I will be able to in a little
790: That's OK, Lexx - we've got all night. And Lexx?
790: As soon as you feel you can rise to the occasion, I would like you
to do a little favour for me
LEXX: What's that?
790: Blow up that ugly
LEXX: Are you my captain?
790: Well technically, no, but you
can consider me your friend - at least in an artificial and temporary sort of
LEXX: I only do what my captain says
790: Seeing as you're getting
stupider by the minute, we'll work on that. And for the record, all that matters
to me is that in blowing up that planet, you destroy everyone who is after
(The moths head down to Longbore's lab)
Longbore's ship, where's Longbore's ship?
GEEK: Gone, gone. Will you take us
to the Lexx?
GEEK: Why not?
KAI: The Lexx is dying
Getting to the Lexx is our only hope. Earth is finished. Even if those aliens
don't destroy the Earth, this will
KAI: What is this?
GEEK: It's a super
high energy particle collider. Dr Longbore used the bots that built the Noah to
make it. It's just warming up now, but once it reaches the power level needed to
determine the mass of the Higgs-Boson -
GEEKETTE: - it will destroy the
GEEK: - by collapsing it into an ultra dense particle - about the
size of a pea
KAI: Your best hope is that Lexx is able to summon up enough
energy in order to fire one last shot that will destroy the alien asteroid, but
he has reached his natural end, and he will die soon
XEV: How long since Dr
GEEK: Longbore didn't leave. He got burnt up when the Noah
STAN: Well then who took it?
GEEK: It looked a lot like President
Priest and First Lady Bunny
XEV: So how long ago did they
GEEK: Not long at all - I'm sure you'd have seen 'em, 'cept for the
STAN: We've gotta go after them somehow
(Kai is hit by a
spark from the Higgs-Boson collider)
GEEK: Be careful
(The spark jumps from Kai to Geek and Geekette, and fries them
XEV: Eww! Kai - Kai, are you coming?
KAI: When Prince, or rather Death, visited the Lexx, he was there for
XEV: I don't understand, how can that be - you're dead already
Kai, Xev, we're wasting time here, we've got to go
KAI: When I died before, I
was put into a state that was not life, but also not complete death. That is why
I was not visited by Prince. My demise was not final. But this time, he has
visited me, so now it will be
XEV: But how can you know that he came for you,
instead of me or Stan or the Lexx?
KAI: I felt it
STAN: Excuse me for
interrupting, but the Noah, our only chance of escape, is getting away
You can try to catch the Noah, but it flies much faster than our moths
OK, well, you tell me what other choice we got
KAI: The aliens that are
consuming this planet will likely continue until they have predated all life in
this universe. I must stop them
STAN: Yeah, well, how?
KAI: I will use a
moth to tow the Higgs-Boson collider into the asteroid. When it reaches full
power it should trigger a chain reaction that will destroy the alien
STAN: But the Lexx is going to destroy the asteroid with his last
KAI: Perhaps. Or perhaps not. In any event, I must be prepared to enter
the asteroid with the collider
XEV: But you're a decarbonised Divine
Assassin. You won't be destroyed, will you?
KAI: My molecular structure has
been altered on a subatomic level. I would not normally be destroyed by such an
XEV: What do you mean, normally?
STAN: What, what are you, what are
you saying, something could be different this time?
KAI: I do not know. But I
feel that it will be
STAN: Feel, what do you mean, feel? Feel? The dead don't
KAI: No, they do not
(he looks at Xev)
KAI: Goodbye, Xev.
I'm sorry that I have not been able to love you in the way that you wanted me
XEV: Don't talk like that
STAN: Come on now, Kai. Look, Xev is right,
here. I hate it when the dead get feelings. Look, let's all just go, OK, and
we'll catch up with the Noah, and the Lexx'll destroy the asteroid and
everything will be just fine
KAI: Goodbye Stanley
STAN: No, no Kai, not
goodbye, because we need you, OK, see, when we catch up with the Noah we're
gonna need you there to use your brace to get us into it
KAI: Go now. The
longer you stay, the less likely it is that you will catch the Noah
(upset) No, not without you
KAI: Yes, Stanley. Go
crying. Stan is clearly very upset)
STAN: Come on Xev. Kai's right,
we gotta go
XEV: I can't say goodbye
STAN: I can't say it either Xev, but
we gotta go. You take care, dead man (he turns to the moth)
XEV: I love you Kai
STAN: Come on Xev - we gotta go.
Kai's right (he takes her to the moth)
(On the Lexx)
790: Nothing. Lexx?
LEXX: Yes, Captain?
790: Lexx - I order you to use every last bit of
juice you've got to blow up that ugly blue planet
LEXX: As you command,
790: Woo hoo! Goodbye Earth, and hip hip hoorah! And goodbye Stan and
Xev - even better!
(Lexx fires a really huge bolt)
moth - Prince appears behind him and touches his shoulder)
Kai. Do you remember me agreeing to make you truly alive again if you defeated
me in our little game of chess?
KAI: Yes. And now you are delivering on that
PRINCE: Exactly. Cheery bye!
bolt heads towards Earth. The alien asteroid detaches itself from the Earth. The
Noah jettisons its fuel pods. The moths fly past the Earth (Kai's towing the
collider heads towards the asteroid, Stan and Xev go past it heading for the
Noah) just as Lexx's bolt splits the Earth in two. It disintegrates. The
asteroid closes up. The Noah sails away)
(Prince appears onboard the
PRINCE: Free at last!
XEV: Goodbye, little blue planet
KAI: 790 - why did the
Lexx blow up the Earth?
790: The Lexx destroyed the Earth, beloved dead man,
because Captain 790 ordered him to do so
STAN: 790, you're not the captain, I
790: You're still alive, security guard? How disappointing
XEV: I am
790: Even worse!
STAN: 790, what's going on?
790: What is going on
is that Lexx has lost his mind completely. He has no idea who his captain is
LEXX: Studman Stan Lexx Captain Number One. The universe is glowing.
One last good bang
KAI: Will the Lexx be able to manage another shot to
destroy the asteroid?
790: Don't think so. He shot his entire wad. Blew up
his last planet and now it's game over for the big bug
XEV: 790, do you
realise what you just did?
790: Of course. People on Earth were after my man
- if not actually, then potentially, so the planet had to be destroyed. Any
robot head in my position would have done the same
STAN: 790, you are so
790: Not evil - just obsessed
XEV: No, not just obsessed - you are
evil, and I hope I never see you again
790: Fine by me
XEV: Stan, look
(Lots of little aliens swarming around)
the aliens are after us now. Kai, we have to -
(she sees him on the
XEV: Kai - you're different
KAI: Prince has delivered on
his promise and made me - truly alive
XEV: That's - That's -
Prince - he's made Kai alive so he's gonna die when the collider
XEV: If you get the collider into the
asteroid, you can leave it behind and then get out as fast as you can, you hear
KAI: I will try to do that, Xev
(Stan and Xev head into space,
aliens go past them towards Kai)
XEV: They're going faster! They're
ignoring us, Kai, and going after you
STAN: (laughs) Oh, Stan, what
are you doing? Xev, Kai, listen to me. Lexx is dying, the Noah's gone. That
stupid robot blew up the planet, and Xev - let's face it, we're doomed. Now look
- if it's really the end for us, and these aliens are going to go on, they're
gonna wipe up every bit of humanity on every planet in this universe - as a
human being, I'm gonna go down fighting. So what do you say, Xev?
(They follow Kai to the asteroid)
we're with you buddy. We are with you
Any alien that gets close to you is going to get its ass bit by a cluster
KAI: We have to find an opening in the asteroid, before the chain
(The moths fly close to surface of the
STAN: There's no openings around here anywhere
have to go to the other side of the asteroid, where it was attached to the
Earth. It may have suffered damage there from the explosion
smoking and shuddering)
790: Please don't die on me. Please Kai,
you're even better than before. Don't die on me now
STAN: Time for a nose
(His moth rams an alien jellyfish)
(They head to an opening, surrounded by lots of green fog. Kai
gets separated from the others)
XEV: Hey, I can't see you anymore,
are you all right?
KAI: I am all right
(He is heading down a
XEV: I can't see a thing
STAN: Neither can I
Stan, where's Kai?
(The opening of the tunnel in the asteroid
XEV: Kai, where are you? Kai, talk to us
having a very bumpy ride in the moth)
STAN: Yeah, look, Kai, the
asteroid's all closed but we're outside, we can't see you anywhere. Where are
KAI: I am inside the asteroid
(He is sweating. He sees that
his knuckles are bleeding. He starts to sing)
KAI: Yo Way
(Xev and Stan hear him)
KAI: Yo Way Yo Hom Var Ray Yo
Ay Ra Jerum Brunnen G
(Stan looks upset. Xev joins in with the next
KAI: Yo Way Yo Hom Var Ray Yo Ay Ra Jerum Brunnen G
Ra Jerum Brunnen G
(As he sings, the moth is heading through the
tunnel, towing the collider behind it. A counter on the side of the collider is
calculating the mass of the Higgs-Boson. The moth heads towards a bright light
at the centre of the asteroid, and crashes. Kai is thrown clear. Lying on his
back, bleeding, he looks at the collider. The mass of the Higgs-Boson is
1313131313. Kai laughs. There is a huge explosion, which then collapses back in
(Xev is in tears)
STAN: Kai! Kai!
STAN: Goodbye, dead man
XEV: Goodbye, last of the Brunnen
(On the Lexx, 790 howls with grief, as the bridge starts to rip
apart. The Lexx slowly begins to disintegrate, its outer layers drifting off
into space. Then the Lexx explodes. 790 is left floating in the debris,
STAN: Hey Xev, look!
(Xev laughs. It's
LittleLexx. Like the Lexx but greener, with a shorter tail, little legs, and a
light above its head - like an angler fish)
XEV: Oh Lexx - you're
STAN: Oh Lexx, I love you
(The moths fly to
(Stan and Xev enter the bridge - shiny and blue, with lots of
STAN: Who are you?
don't know (cute voice!)
STAN: I am Stanley H Tweedle, your
LITTLELEXX: You are?
STAN: Yes I am
(A blue Key
appears, and goes into his hand)
LITTLELEXX: And what do you command
me to do, Captain?
XEV: Find us a new home, LittleLexx
STAN: LittleLexx -
find us a new home
LITTLELEXX: As you command, Captain
(On the Noah - Priest is taking an interest in all the girls, but
Bunny pulls him away)
PRINCE: So, Mr President, First Lady Bunny -
our journey finally begins
PRIEST: Exactly as you always
(He kisses Prince's hand. Bunny giggles
PRIEST: You are my Prince
PRINCE: Yes I
(790, floating in space)
790: A poem for Kai, called
Ten Thousand Tears, by 790, the robot head who loved him. This epic poem will
have ten thousand new lines each day and I will recite it for ten thousand years
until my power pack fails. Canto 1, verse 1, line 1:
Oh Kai, oh Kai, oh
Why did you have to die?
Oh woe, oh woe, oh woe,
years to go
(He is sucked up by LittleLexx)
© Filking Fairy
© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana