Welcome to the Light Zone of LEXX! 
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(written by Paul Donovan, Jeffery Hirschfield, Lex Gigeroff)

(Close up of the ForeShadow, voice-over)

KAI: I am Kai, last of the Brunnen G. Millennia ago, the Brunnen G led humanity to victory in the war against the insect civilisation. The Time Prophet predicted that I would be the one to destroy the Divine Order and the League of 20,000 Planets. Someday, that will happen - but not today. As today is my day of death. The day our story begins.

(Yo A O
Yo A O, Hom Var Ray, Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G
Yo A O, Hom Var Ray, Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G
Yo A O, Hom Var Ray...
Six small ships fly from Brunnis 2, as the Foreshadow fires sheets of energy at the planet)

KAI: Stingers!

(The ships raise their tails, and open weapons)

BRUNNEN G: Stingers ready
KAI: Our one chance and our one chance alone is to hit His Shadow's control pod. Good luck. Very, very good luck

(The ForeShadow fires again)

BRUNNEN G: ForeShadow in range
KAI: Fire now!

(The ships fly towards the ForeShadow. Two ships are shot down, then a third. The final sheet of energy hits Brunnis 2, which disintegrates to the sounds of screaming)

KAI: Crash into the control pod!

(Two more ships are hit. The control pod shield starts to close, but Kai's ship crashes through. The shield closes. Kai lies bleeding on the floor, amidst the wreckage of his ship. His Divine Shadow walks towards him)

KAI: His Shadow
HDS: His Divine Shadow, yes
KAI: The Brunnen G will defeat you
HDS: I do not think so. The power of order has destroyed your planet. The power of order will destroy you. And you are the last of the Brunnen G left alive
KAI: The Time Prophet has seen your order destroyed by the Brunnen G

(His Divine Shadow takes out a dagger)

HDS: The Time Prophet's vision appears to be flawed

(His Divine Shadow crouches down and stabs Kai in the chest. He puts his hands on Kai's head to steal his memories, then stands up again)

FS OFFICER: We will incinerate the carcass
HDS: No. This last specimen of a now extinct culture of romantic dreamers merits punishment beyond death. Transport it to the Bio-Scholars

(His Divine Shadow bends down to pick up part of Kai's ship)

HDS: An insect. Curious

(2008 years later. The Cluster. Capital of the League of 20,000 Planets)

(Stan is asleep in his tiny cubicle. A screen switches on, and plays the Cluster anthem)

VOICE: Only a thin dimensional barrier separates us from the festering evil, the malignant depravity and alien chaos of the Dark Zone. The Dark Zone is not separate, like two different planets. The Dark Zone coexists in the same space as our universe, in the same place, at the same time. The Dark Zone has no rules, no sense, no order. We give thanks to His Divine Shadow for his ceaseless vigilance, protecting our universe of light and order from the horrors and disorder of the Dark Zone. We worship His Shadow. Long may he reign

VOICE: Good morning Security Guard Class 4 Number 47632943 Department 511 Level 4. This is your third wake up call. If you are late you will receive 7 demerits. You already have 991 demerits

(Stan gets up and climbs down the ladder form his cubicle)

(A prison transport ship, out in space))

VOICE: Prisoner Transport 58K603 you are past the Frontier. Commence your revival sequence

VOICE: Due to a bulkhead malfunction, prisoner transport 58K603, you are being diverted from gate 417 punishment level 2 to gate 511. Due to a bulkhead malfunction prisoner transport 58K..

(Shot of about a dozen transports heading for the Cluster)

(Guard walks between prisoners suspended on slabs)

GUARD: Number 11 freeze-dried again

(He looks at Zev)

GUARD: I've seen a lot of women in my life, and you know something? You've gotta be the ugliest one I ever laid eyes on. Does this mean anything to you?
ZEV: No. Nothing means anything to me, handsome

(Guard clicks a button, sending electricity through her. Then he looks into a pod - all we can see in there are a pair of eyes)

GUARD: It's your day of justice, Thodin

(The transports reach the Cluster and descend through the smog. They fly past the Lexx, over Cobalt Stadium and inside Gate 511, where Stan is throwing nuts and bolts at a drone, until the Line Major's face appears on his view screen)

LINE: I worship His Shadow
STAN: I worship His Shadow
LINE: Prisoner transport 58K603 requesting docking beam
STAN: Authority code
LINE: Code? Nobody asks for code anymore

(She punches in a code)

STAN: Wrong code
LINE: I can't remember the code
STAN: I suggest you try another gate then
LINE: What rank are you?
STAN: Security guard, class 4
LINE: Security guard, class 4, sir. I'm a line major and I'm ordering you to turn on your docking beam. Understand?
STAN: I can't do that
LINE: Why not?
STAN: You've got the wrong code
LINE: I am giving you a direct order, 4th class security guard
STAN: I can't help you

(He throws a bolt into a vent on the floor)

GUARD: I worship His Shadow (salutes)
LINE: I worship His Shadow
GUARD: (presses button) Docking beam is engaged now sir, and security guard class 4 Stanley Tweedle is presently being entered for correction and punishment himself
LINE: I request that he be demoted
GUARD: Class 4 is already the lowest
LINE: Then I trust that his punishment will be severe
GUARD: That will happen, sir
LINE: May His Shadow fall upon you
GUARD: May His Shadow fall upon you

(He looks at Stan)

GUARD: You must enter yourself into correction centre number 40 before watch change today, Stan

(Guard pats him on the head)

GUARD: - Stanley Tweedle. And may His Merciful Shadow fall upon you
STAN: May His Merciful Shadow fall upon - me, preferably

(Clerics rush HDS body on stretcher towards pillars. Inside is a bound man)

CLERIC1: We have little time!

(Gel is applied to the sides of the man's head)

CLERIC2: The sedative-
CLERIC1: No time

(Clerics attach tubes to the man's head - he knocks the clerics down, but they reattach, and his brain is vacuumed)

CLERIC1: He fought well
CLERIC2: A truly vicious human being
CLERIC1: He will prove to be a good host
CLERIC2: The second vac!
CLERIC1: We don't have time, one will have to do
CLERIC2: But he may not be fully cleansed!
CLERIC1: We will have to risk it

(The bound man is lowered over the stretcher)

CLERIC1: Divine Shadow, you must perform the Kiss. Divine Shadow, the Kiss

(HDS eyes open - they are black. Blue energy goes from his mouth into the tube in the bound man's mouth. HDS dies, and the clerics wheel him away, and raise the bound man. The clerics take out HDS brain, put it in a casing, and attach a face plate. They put the brain on a pedestal and salute it)

CLERICS: We worship His Divine Predecessor

(The pillar rises. The clerics untie the bound man. His eyes go black. The robe comes off the body of HDS, turns into a black shadow, and becomes the robe on the new HDS. He climbs onto a pillar, which rises to join the other brains - the Divine Predecessors)

DP: Divine Shadow, may your reign be long and worthy
HDS: Divine Predecessors, I than you for your gift of selection. I will serve order, I will serve you, and I will serve myself
DPS: But how?
DP: Divine Shadow, today is a dark day for heretics and infidels throughout our universe. The Lexx will soon be fully grown and we will be able to send it on its voyage, bringing destruction upon all those who would oppose the League of 20,000
HDS: How will we know which planets shelter enemies of order, which planets are to be chosen for destruction?
DP: That will be your task
HDS: Then my task is complete. I choose to destroy them all
DP: That has not been our plan
HDS: Divine Predecessors, I am formed from you, but my host brain was not fully cleansed and therefore I am also partly formed from humans. I will choose my own path, and I choose that I myself will command the Lexx on its voyage of destruction
DP: But the prophecy-
HDS: I have no patience for your ancient superstitions! The Brunnen G have been extinct for over 2000 years
DP: The Divine Shadow must never leave the Cluster unless there is grave peril. We need each other's strength
HDS: I agree. Divine Predecessors, I will not risk being separated from your wisdom, your guidance - as you will join me on my voyage

(The pillars of the Predecessors descend, and all the brains are put in a shuttle)

DP: The prophecy is upon us
DP: Impossible! The prophecy is false. The Brunnen G are extinct
DP: Brethren, I was the one who killed them all, but I did not destroy them all. One specimen was preserved
DP: Impossible!
DP: Predecessors - look into me

(Shot of HDS stealing Kai's memory)

DP: I was the one who took his life. I have his memory

(Flashback to the Time Prophet on her throne)

KAI: Prophet, I have come to you because the forces of His Shadow grow stronger, and we Brunnen G no longer have the weapons to combat it
TIME: I have the strength to answer one question. Say to me your question
KAI: Will the forces of His Shadow destroy us?
TIME: Time as you know had a beginning, and time has an end, and then time begins again, as we shall each live our lives again, exactly as before. I have been gifted to see into the old cycles of time - not very clearly, mind you, but I have learned that in the future past the Brunnen G, the great victor in the war against the insect civilisation, shall be destroyed at the hand of His Shadow, but after His Shadow leaves the Cluster, they will be destroyed at the hands of the Brunnen G. This has happened before. It will happen again

(Shuttle reaches the Lexx)

DP: We are boarding the Lexx. We will all be destroyed!

(Prisoner slabs move past Stan - Zev glances at him)

OLD MAN: You! You, I know you! Stanley Tweedle - it's him! Stanley Tweedle
PRISONER: Murderer!
OLD MAN: Stanley Tweedle - oh!

(His slab falls down, squishing him)

PRISONER: Traitor!

(Stan hides behind his desk)

(Slabs arrive in front of bench. Holograms of Prosecutor, Defence, and Judge appear. One of the two drones attaches a device to the first prisoner's head)

DEFENCE: My client - Argon Protopi, pie maker, class 2, orbital 5 - is accused of the charge of failing to pay money owed to the temple and throws himself upon the mercy of this court, secure in the knowledge that His Shadow's wisdom will prevail upon these proceedings
DRONE: Memory search commencing

(Probes go in, and show Argon's memory)

CLERICS: Alms, alms, alms
ARGON: I don't care anymore. I've had enough. I'm not paying the temple any more money, period
DRONE: Memory search complete
JUDGE: You - Argon Protopi, pie maker, class 2, orbital 5 - have been found guilty of failing to pay money owed to the temple. You are therefore sentenced to have your individual life terminated. However, His merciful Shadow will allow many of your vital organs to live on as components used in the making of robotic drones. Your useful flesh will be contributed to the protein bank where it will be recycled for purposes that serve His Shadow (flicker) poses that serve His Shadow

(Drone flicks a switch, and the slab moves towards the slicer)

ARGON: You can take whatever you want, I'll pay, I promise!
HOLOCLERIC: In the execution of this sentence you are hereby cleansed of your crime against the people of the 20,000 Planets. May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

(The blades start up, and Argon screams)

DRONES: We worship His Shadow

(Blood splashes on Zev's face, as Argon's brain is taken away, and his organs are bagged and dropped down onto a conveyor belt - one of many heading into the Lexx's mouth)

(Stan is at the correction centre - faint sound of screams in the background)

STAN: I was supposed to escort a prisoner here - Stanley Tweedle 467329-43 Department 511 Level 4
GUARD: Yeah?
STAN: He is refusing to turn himself in
GUARD: Yeah?
STAN: I thought that if you told me what his punishment would be for not showing up, that might help persuade him
GUARD: Oh - give me that number again
STAN: 467329-43 Department 511 Level 4
GUARD: If he's not here when we close at watch change - termination order will be issued automatically. That's about, er, twenty minutes
STAN: Termination?!
GUARD: That's what it says - termination
STAN: But he's a designated data co-operator, he can't be terminated because he might be needed someday for important information
GUARD: DDC, eh? Oh, sorry - that expired five months ago. Let's see - he's a level 4, class 47 transgression, normally - cauterisation. But he's got 991 demerits and there's a special rotation so, looks like 1 to 3 organs
STAN: 1 to 3 organs?
GUARD: He'll have to donate 1 to 3 organs, depending on demand
STAN: Demand?
GUARD: Demand for soft organs is red hot right now, so he's pretty sure to be a triple donor
STAN: But he didn't do anything, it's just a mix-up!
GUARDS: Life's a mix-up, huh?
STAN: What organs?
GUARDS: Usual combo - eyeball, kidney, testicle. If they want bone, they'll take an arm or a leg, but we haven't done a limb cut in days. I'd suggest he turn himself in. After all - triple organ's better than a termination (laughs)
STAN: Hh - may His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

(Guard grunts, and does a half hearted salute. Stan walks slowly away, and kicks a robot trolley)

DEFENCE: My client - Zev Bellringer of B3K - is innocent of the charge of failing to perform her wifely duties sand throws herself upon the mercy of this court, secure in the knowledge that His Shadow's wisdom will prevail upon these proceedings
DRONE: Memory search commencing

(Zev's memory shows an irritating teenage boy)

ZEV: You are my every dream come true
BOY: There must be a mistake. There's no way I can marry that cow!
ZEV: Husband - I shall serve - I shall love - I will-
BOY: You make me wanna throw up. Get her outta here!

(Zev punches him in the face)

DRONE: Memory search complete

JUDGE: You - Zev Bellringer of B3K - have been found guilty of failing to perform your wifely duties, and humiliating your husband in the temple. You are therefore sentenced to be transformed into a love slave, and to be given to Seminary 166145 to be used for their pleasure, may His Shadow fall upon you

(Zev's slab moves away, followed by 790 drone)

ZEV: Oh please, put me out of my misery. I volunteer for the protein bank. I don't want to live this terrible life anymore!

(Thodin's pod moves towards the bench)

PROS: You - Thodin of the Ostral B pair - are accused of-
VOICE: Due to the special nature of this crime, the arch-heretic Thodin of the Ostral B pair will be tried in Cobalt Stadium. Following that, this sentence will be immediately executed for the entertainment of His Shadow's loyal followers

(Thodin's pod is raised up and taken away)

(790 drone lowers Xev's slab. A video screen in front of here shows a holo-cleric)

HOLOCLERIC: In the execution of this sentence you are hereby cleansed of your crime against the people of the 20,000 Planets. May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you
ZEV: Whatever

(Cobalt Stadium - lights sweep across as Thodin's pod arrives and is placed in front of a cage of Cluster lizards)

PROS: The arch-heretic, pirate and rebel of the Ostral B pair - Thodin

(The pod opens, to reveal Thodin)

CROWD: Thodin! Thodin!

(The Cluster lizards bash at the bars. Thodin shuts his eyes, and a mechanical bug emerges from his nose and flies off)

BUG: Bugbomb activated. Bugbomb searching, Thodin. Heading left. Bugbomb searching, Thodin

(The crowd cheers as brains are thrown to the Cluster lizards)

STAN: 3 organs. 3 organs. Better than termination

(Stan heads back to the correction centre, and hits Bugbomb)

BUG: Bugbomb searching. Bugbomb malfunction

PROS: Thodin of the Ostral B pair is accused of heresy in the first degree, of 26 counts of piracy, of influencing the minds of the feeble, of questioning His Shadow's truth and wisdom, of destroying 31 military vessels loyal to His Shadow

(Thodin looks quite pleased with this)

(Stan races back to the correction centre, just as the shutters slam down)

VOICE: This correction centre is now closed
STAN: It's me! I'm here, I am!

(His picture appears on the wall screen)

VOICE: Fugitive alert. Fugitive alert. This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination

BUG: Bugbomb reactivating, Thodin. Bugbomb searching, Thodin

(Bugbomb picks itself up and flies through corridors)

BUG: Target conduit located, Thodin

(Bugbomb flies through a pipe full of cables, and lands on one)

BUG: Target cable located, Thodin. Target signal located. Bugbomb detonation sequence initiated, Thodin. Mal - malfunction

(Bugbomb falls off cable, then gets back up)

BUG: Target signal relocated, Thodin

(Thodin bangs his restraints against the side of his pod)

BUG: Malfunction

(Bugbomb falls into fan)

BUG: Ah - Bugbomb lost head

(Clerics are lined up at a transport. Children and proud parents step down)

OFFICER: His Shadow bids welcome to the finest examples of youthful devotion in all the 20,000 planets (salutes)

(Bugbomb picks itself up again)

BUG: Bugbomb searching, Thodin

(Bugbomb climbs back up cable and hears - "This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination")

BUG: Incorrect signal

HOLOCLERIC: You young fifty have been selected from the best, the brightest, and the most loyal of His Shadow's subjects from thousands of planets. Among plain stones, you are bright shining jewels. And after you receive your awards of merit today you will return to your home planets where you will dedicate the rest of your lives to helping His Shadow's light reach those dark corners where it still does not yet fall

PROS: - of training enemies of His Shadow in military tactics, of slandering clerics on 11 planets, of-
THODIN: You are all slaves! Free yourselves from the tyranny of this false religion. You are all slaves!

BUG: Target signal relocated, Thodin. Mal-malfunction. Detonation imminent

PROS: - and finally, of 6 counts of blasphemous self-aggrandisement

BUG: Cannot locate correct signal

(Bugbomb explodes. The HoloProsecutor flickers, and the HoloJudge appears)

JUDGE: Due to the severe and heinous nature of your crime, you, Thodin of the Ostral B pair-
HOLOCLERIC: - are recognised for selfless love and devotion to His Shadow

(By now, the Cluster lizards are getting very cross, and the fire started by Bugbomb is getting worse)

PROS: - of 26 counts of piracy - of piracy - of piracy

(The crowd starts to realise that something is wrong)

JUDGE: You, Thodin of the Ostral B pair -
HOLOCLERIC: - you are hereby given an award of merit

(Thodin looks quite amused by this. Meanwhile, back at the award ceremony-)

HOLOCLERIC: A shining example for every planet. You are hereby -
JUDGE: - sentenced to be devoured by cluster lizards. Sentence to be executed immediately
(A gate opens, and the Cluster lizards roll out to attack the kids and their parents)

CLERIC: Cluster Lizards!
HOLOCLERIC: - among plain stones, you are bright shining jewels. You have been found guilty

(The Cluster lizards start feeding, the kids start screaming)

JUDGE: Guilty. Guilty
PROS: 11 planets. 11 planets
DEFENCE: My client - Zev Bellringer of B3K

(Cluster lizards get into the stadium, and start attacking spectators)

JUDGE: My client-

(The fire spreads. Thodin's pod closes and descends to the prisoner level)

(Zev is on the slab. 790 drone puts goggles over her eyes, and lowers part of the machine. Zev is hit by electricity. 790 drone selects her new hair colour)

VOICE: Watch for disguises. Some fugitives may try to fool you

(Wall screen shows pictures of Stan in disguise)

(Cluster lizard attacks the 790 drone as it is operating the love slave machine)

DEFENCE: My client-
JUDGE: - you have been found guilty

(Thodin's pod opens, and his restraints undo)

DRONES: Hail Thodin of the Ostral B pair, winner of His Shadow's award of merit

(Thodin gets a crowbar and starts to release one of the rebels)

DEFENCE: My client - Giggerota the Wicked of Boron 7Ѓ- is found guilty - is innocent of the charge of - cannibalism of men, women, children and clerics of 62 temples
GIG: More like 162!
DEFENCE: -and failing to perform her wifely duties, and throws herself upon the mercy of this court, secure in the knowledge that His Shadow's wisdom will prevail upon these proceedings

PROS: Thodin - planets - of the Ostral B pair
JUDGE: Guilty!
DRONES: Hail Thodin of the Ostral B pair, winner of His Shadow's award of merit

(Thodin helps a rebel)

GIG: Hey, what about Giggerota? Free me muscle brain, I'm next
REBEL: What about her?
THODIN: We can't get side-tracked
GIG: Hey, boneheads! Giggerota's about to die

(Thodin goes back and frees her from the slab, gives her a crowbar)

THODIN: You - take care of the others
GIG: Don't think so

(She drops down the organ chute)

THODIN: Let's do it. Arms 2,3 - down! Arms 2,3 - down!

(He and the rebels start freeing the others)

PROS: -self aggrandisement
HOLOCLERIC: May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

(790 drone's head gets knocked off. Zev whimpers. The Cluster lizard hears her and comes to investigate, but its head gets trapped in the machine with Zev, who screams. Its tail thrashes around and activates the machine. When the machine rises, Zev has been transformed. She tears herself free of the slab. A light starts to descend, so she gets off the slab and puts 790 in her place. He receives the love slave programming, and Zev is the first thing he sees)

790: I will love you forever

(Zev laughs, kicks him across the room, and rips most of her skirt off)

790: B3K, don't leave me. No-one will ever worship you like I do
ZEV: See ya, lover boy

(She throws off her wedding head-dress, and walks away. 790 summons a trolley)

VOICE: This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination

(Zev sees Stan running, and his picture on the wall screen)

ZEV: Nice picture

(Some drones see Zev, and block her path, but are unable to identify her - until 790 rolls up on his trolley)

790: Zev of B3K, you are the woman of my dreams!

(Zev runs)

DRONES: Zev of B3K, surrender at once

(Zev races after Stan, who is trying a card in a door)

VOICE: Invalid code. Access denied

(In the glass of the door, Zev sees herself for the first time)

ZEV: I'm beautiful
DRONES: Zev of B3K, there is no escape

(Zev uses Stan as a shield)


(The drones fire their blackpacks, making a hole in the door which Stan and Zev run through)

790: I'm with you, Zev!

(His Divine Shadow is on his pillar, looking at a view screen)

GENERAL: Divine Shadow, we have a level 3 security break. Hundreds have been killed
HDS: General, you have disturbed my meditation. When it is completed I will deal with you, and also with this minor matter

(He waves a hand and the view screen disappears)

(Stan and Zev run down a corridor, with drones in pursuit. Stan tries a door)

VOICE: Invalid code. Access denied
DRONES: Zev of B3K, there is no escape. Surrender at once

(Stan grabs Zev's arm)

STAN: I got her, I have her! I got Zev of B3A!

(Zev shakes him off)

VOICE: Fugitive alert. This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination

(Zev picks up 790)

ZEV: Can you open it?
790: I can open many wonderful things for you, darling of all darling things
STAN: I worship His Shadow, I worship His Shadow!

(The door opens. Stan goes through, only to find there are two Cluster lizards on the other side)

DRONES: Surrender at once

(Zev screams at the Cluster lizards. They ignore Stan, and attack the drones)

STAN: How did you do that?
ZEV: I don't know. Maybe I've got some cluster lizard in me
STAN: I could get past that
790: Don't you even think about it, fugitive. She's my woman

(790's trolley follows them)

(The rebels run down a corridor, and into a pair of drones)

DRONES: Hail Thodin, winner of His Shadow's award of merit

(They let Thodin take their guns)

THODIN: Good boys

DRONES: Hail Thodin, winner of - correction - award of merit rescinded. Thodin arch heretic and rebel, wanted for immediate termination

(They reach for their weapons - which are no longer there)

DRONES: Please return our weapons

(Thodin and a rebel vaporise them)

THODIN: May His Shadow fall upon you

(On the MegaShadow(?) A display of the Lexx. General and Major kneel before His Divine Shadow)

GENERAL: They appear to be headed towards the special projects area, Divine Shadow
MAJOR: There are many access points where they could potentially enter the Lexx
HDS: They cannot control the Lexx

(HDS holds up his right hand, which has a blue light - the key to the Lexx)

MAJOR: We are closing all the throughputs
HDS: General, do you believe that time flows in a straight line?
GENERAL: I have observed that time is continuous
HDS: Major, do you believe that time travels in a circle, that it is possible to see into the future by looking into the past?
MAJOR: I am not aware of any such divine teaching
HDS: So you do not believe that it is possible?
MAJOR: No, Divine Shadow
HDS: I am a more complex being than my Divine Predecessors. Unlike them I do not believe that time travels in a circle, and therefore I do not believe in prophecies
GENERAL: Divine Shadow?
HDS: Yes?
GENERAL: How shall we deal with the heretics?
HDS: You will ensure that they make their way to the special projects area. The time has come to prove that all prophecies are false, that no-one can know the future. Major?
MAJOR: Yes, Divine Shadow
HDS: Kill him (points at General)
MAJOR: Kill him?
HDS: Yes. Kill him
GENERAL: I worship His Shadow

(The Major shoots him, then looks at HDS and smiles)

HDS: Thank you. Now kill yourself
MAJOR: Kill myself?
HDS: Yes. Now kill yourself
MAJOR: But I - I -
HDS: Shoot yourself
MAJOR: I worship His Divine Shadow
HDS: Shoot!

(The Major shoots herself)

(Heretics are climbing up scaffolding. Some of them are shot by drones)

VOICE: Disengage, repeat, disengage

(His Divine Shadow walks down steps into mortuary. He pulls open a drawer - there are hundreds, but this is the one that contains Kai. HDS moves his hand across the drawer, and protoblood starts to flow from tubes into Kai)

HDS: Awake, last of the Brunnen G. You will show my misguided predecessors that I make my own destiny

(Kai's eyes open)

KAI: Who would you like me to kill?

(Stan, Zev are still running through corridors, trying to find a way out)

790: Code access denied, buttercup. Access denied. All access denied, except to the gates of my heart
STAN: I don't like it

(Lift doors open)

STAN: We can't go up there, that's the special projects area
ZEV: Do we have a choice?

(Zev gets into the lift, so Stan follows. Meanwhile, Giggerota has followed a Cluster lizard through a tunnel and onto the Lexx)

VOICE: Only authorised persons are admitted to the Special Projects highest level security area. If the system is not able to recognise your facial images from its library of authorised persons, your flesh will be disposed of as useful organic material, and added to the protein bank
STAN: Doesn't this thing have a down button? It's not fair, I was just doing my job
ZEV: Life is not fair - something I know well
VOICE: Special projects elevators offer their special passengers complimentary snacks

(A compartment containing snacks opens)

VOICE: Upon arrival, you will be welcomed by elite officers of His Shadow's personal guard

(Stan reaches for a snack, but the compartment closes)

VOICE: The system does not recognise your facial images. You are unauthorised passengers. You will be disposed of as useful organic material to be added to the protein bank. May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

(The lift doors open - not elite guards, but Thodin and two heretics)

STAN: Don't shoot! I'm Ostral B!
THODIN: Stanley Tweedle?
STAN: Thodin? You're alive! It's a miracle, a wonderful, wonderful miracle!

(Stan hugs Thodin, who pushes him away, and aims his blackpack at him)

THODIN: I should kill you on the spot, worm

(Zev hands 790 to Stan, and steps forward)

ZEV: Hi. I'm Zev
THODIN: Thodin

(Thodin does a double take. 790 looks disgusted)

790: 790

(The rebels put down their guns and walk towards the Lexx)

ZEV: What is it?
THODIN: Why don't you tell her what it is, arch traitor?
STAN: It's the Lexx - the most powerful destructive force ever built
STAN: I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to go up there
THODIN: Do you remember Erico? The only reason that millions - millions! - sacrificed their lives for that overheated rock was because two Ericons were bio-code specialists for the Cluster. We fought that war, traitor, so that I could be here, today. They died, so that I could have the key to the Lexx

(Thodin holds up his left hands, which glows orange. They all walk along the walkway towards the Lexx, but the rebel bringing up the rear gets his head cut off by Kai. Stan runs inside the Lexx. Kai walks towards the rebels. They fire their blackpacks at him, but he just shrugs it off)

REBEL: He must be inorganic
THODIN: He's decarbonised

(Thodin touches two finger to the rebel's head, and an orange glow sweeps across his face)

THODIN: My life means nothing in the great equation

(Thodin and the rebel touch hands, which transfers the key to the rebel. The rebel goes into the Lexx. Thodin takes hold of Zev)

THODIN: Beauty such as yours must live on

(Thodin kisses Zev, who clearly enjoys it. He then pushes her into the Lexx. The door closes behind her, and Thodin smashes the controls)

ZEV: Don't leave me. Everybody always leaves me
790: I will never leave you

(On the MegaShadow? His Divine Shadow is looking at a display of the Lexx)

GUARD: The Divine personal guard can be there in less than one minute
HDS: No. I do not believe in prophecies

(Kai and Thodin are on the walkway)

THODIN: Is it possible? You look Brunnen G. Could you be the fulfilment of the prophecy?
KAI: Brunnen G?
THODIN: I guess not

(Thodin pulls out his right eye and drops it on the floor, releasing a gas which makes him invisible)

(On the Lexx. the rebel runs down a passageway)

STAN: Wait for me!
REBEL: You're on your own, traitor
STAN: I'd better go with him

(A Cluster lizard screams. Zev and Stan go into the passage to find the rebel being eaten by a Cluster lizard - only his hand is sticking out of its mouth, waving. Stan waves back - and gets the key to the Lexx. Stan hands Zev 790, and runs away. Zev screams at the lizard, which chases after Stan)

(On the walkway, Kai aims his brace at Thodin. Thodin grabs the brace and cuts off Kai's left arm)

(Stan hides from the lizard in a moth. Zev tries to get in beside him, but Giggerota pulls her out)

GIG: Excuse me
ZEV: Hey!

(Giggerota gets in, and closes the door against a Cluster lizard)

GIG: I think it wants in
ZEV: Let me in!
790: Let her in!

(Stan accidentally makes the moth take off)

GIG: Giggerota drives

(Zev is perched on one of the legs of the moth, clutching 790 to her)

790: Oh bosom of electrical delight!

STAN: Look, over there - that looks important

(On the walkway, Thodin cuts half of Kai's head off)

(The moth lands on a platform by the bridge. Giggerota and Stan get out)

GIG: Anybody know how to drive this thing?

(Zev attacks Giggerota, while Stan watches. Giggerota pushes Zev away, and laughs)

ZEV: Later

(Giggerota laughs again)

(Kai's arm (the one on the ground) grabs Thodin's leg, and Kai's brace shoots him through his heart. Thodin becomes visible once more)

THODIN: Today, I, Thodin -

(Thodin falls to the ground and dies. Kai reattaches his arm)

(On the Lexx, Zev gets up on the pedestal. The template appears, but her hand goes straight through it)

ZEV: Stanley - come here
STAN: Why?
ZEV: Come here. Up
ZEV: Up. Your hand

(Stan puts his hand on the template, which activates)

LEXX: What planet would you like me to destroy, Divine Shadow?
STAN: Huh?
LEXX: What planet would you like me to destroy?
ZEV: This one
STAN: This one
LEXX: This planetoid is a member of the League of 20,000. I am not permitted to destroy it
ZEV: Then take us out of here
STAN: Take us outta here
LEXX: As you command. Destination?
GIG: The frontier
STAN: Yes, take us away from here, take us out past the frontier, take us some place better
LEXX: As you command, Divine Shadow

(Kai gets his head together and slots his brace back onto his arm. The Lexx starts to pull away from its moorings and slowly sweeps over Cobalt Stadium - it is huge. It leaves the Cluster)

(His Divine Shadow goes into a large chamber. A shadow emerges from him)

HDS: Shadow, I gather you. Divine Predecessors, I have failed you, but I will not fail you again

(His Divine Shadow lowers his hood and lies down on a slab)

HDS: Predecessors, forgive me for my pride. Predecessors, this sacrifice I make for order. This sacrifice I make for you

(Machines attached to the slab slice the top of his skull off, and remove his brain)

HDS: Shadow, take my body

(The shadow enters his skull)

(On the Lexx, out in space)

STAN: Who could ever imagine all this could be built from a tiny capsule of amino acids in my tooth?
ZEV: What? You are really the famous arch traitor Stanley Tweedle?
STAN: I am not a traitor
GIG: The Stanley Tweedle?
790: Formerly designated data co-operator and presently fugitive, Stanley Tweedle was the one who provided the forces of His Shadow with the amino acid codes used to destroy a hundred reform planets
STAN: It was the Sub-Ns. They did things to me, to every part of my body. No man could've stood up to it. And it was more like 94 planets, not a hundred
GIG: So why did they let you live, tweed man?
STAN: In case they ever needed any more questions answered

(A frontier guard appears on the Lexx's view screen)

FRON: This is frontier station 65-798-4-8. Unidentified vessel please provide your exit code
GIG: Earn your keep, security guard
STAN: No-one asks for the exit code anymore
FRON: To pass at the frontier an exit code is required one hundred percent of the time. If you pass the frontier without the proper exit code, I will arm the outer ring mines and your vessel will be destroyed. Exit code, please

(Zev whispers to Stan)

STAN: Lexx - would you please destroy frontier post 65-798-4-8?
LEXX: As you command, Divine Shadow

(The Lexx's eyes move, and it powers up. It blasts the frontier post - and the planet behind it - to smithereens)

ALL: Yes!

(Stan and Zev hug. Stan kisses her cheek and neck, and licks his lips. 790 is not amused. Zev hugs Stan, growls, and starts to bite him. Then she screams)

ZEV: Stanley, I've got new appetites

(Stan runs from her, into Giggerota)

GIG: I want to eat the liver
STAN: Ladies - I've got the hand, the key to the Lexx. It only does what I tell it, remember?

(Zev and Giggerota back off. Stan gets up on the pedestal, and sees a big ship on the view screen)

STAN: Ah - what's that?
LEXX: His Shadow's personal flagship, the MegaShadow, and the Cluster's 24th attack wing
STAN: Er - Lexx, could you please destroy them, if you don't mind?
LEXX: I cannot fulfil your command. They are forces under the immediate direction of His Divine Shadow
KAI: And you are not permitted to destroy them

(Stan, Zev and Giggerota turn to see Kai standing on the moth platform. Stan puts his hands up)

STAN: I'm security guard 4th class Stanley Tweedle, and I've been captured by these escaped prisoners, and I'm surrendering the Lexx, and I truly worship His Divine Shadow
GIG: You waste of skin!

(She goes for Stan, but Kai's brace grabs her by the neck)

KAI: You are Giggerota, also known as the Wicked?
GIG: You got a problem with that?

(Kai flings her off the bridge)

GIG: Aaaah!

KAI: You are minor heretics, disloyal to His Shadow
STAN: Very very minor
KAI: Are there other minor heretics with you?
ZEV: Lots. They're coming up here now and they're heavily armed
KAI: No - you are alone

(Stan kneels down)

STAN: We worship His Divine Shadow and beg his forgiveness
ZEV: Don't, Stan - die with some dignity

(She kicks Stan, and he gets up)

STAN: I, the arch heretic and reformer Stanley Tweedle, although only an assistant deputy backup courier, I did everything I could, I really tried, but I was captured by Sub Nebula mercenaries and I tried my best, but they found the code. And then what could I do after they made me security guard 4th class on the Cluster, but I tried, I really tried
ZEV: You have the Lexx back, let us go
KAI: I do as His Shadow instructs. I will kill both of you

(He is about to kill them when he hears the screams of the Divine Predecessors - a Cluster lizard has got into their P chamber. Kai jumps into a moth and flies there)

(On the MegaShadow)

HDS: And if I do not return, destroy the Lexx
OFFICER: But the Divine Predecessors -
HDS: - will understand that my priority must now be to end this prophecy. The last of the Brunnen G must be destroyed

(The P Chamber. Kai kills the Cluster lizard)

DPS: Who are you?
KAI: I have been sent by His Divine Shadow. I have been instructed, number one, to protect you, number two, to kill those who are trying to steal the Lexx

DPS: Yes, kill those who have done this terrible deed. Kill them quickly - No, kill them slowly. Make them feel pain as no living thing has suffered before

(Kai picks up a piece of brain - and hears Yo A Ra Jerum Brunnen G Yo A Ra)

KAI: I know that sound
DP: But you cannot remember it, as you do not remember who you are

(Kai picks up the rest of the brain, which is lying on the floor)

KAI: I am Kai, last of the Brunnen G
DPS: The prophecy is upon us!
DP: The Brunnen G are no more. You are animated flesh that kills as His Shadow instructs
KAI: You were once His Shadow. You - killed me
DP: You may have recovered your memory, but you are nothing. You have no willpower of your own
KAI: Wrong

(He stands up)

KAI: I have the willpower. You have given it to me

(Kai tears the brain apart, and memories flow back into him)

(The MegaShadow shoots a probe containing His Divine Shadow into the Lexx, then pulls away)

STAN: But they're not firing, they're not shooting at us
ZEV: For how long? Stan, do you have any idea where we should tell the Lexx to go?
ZEV: Where?
STAN: My tooth!
ZEV: Your tooth?
STAN: Yes! The Sub Ns never knew about my second tooth. It contains co-ordinates of locations supposedly inaccessible to His Divine Shadow
ZEV: Which tooth?
STAN: This one, I think

(Zev tries to pull it out)

ZEV: It won't come out
STAN: Of course not!

(Zev punches him in the face - the tooth comes out)

STAN: Ah! Mmm

(Zev hits the tooth with 790)

790: Thank you!

(She hits the tooth again, and looks through the bits)

790: Harder. Harder!

(Zev pulls out a tiny strip of foil)

ZEV: This it?
ZEV: Read it
790: It contains detailed flight path co-ordinates
ZEV: You're a regular bundle of surprises, Stanley Tweedle. Up

(Stan gets up on the pedestal)

STAN: Lexx - follow the co-ordinates exactly
LEXX: As you command, Divine Shadow
790: Hold course X axis 5-6.3441 Y axis 18.32815

(Kai reappears on the bridge)

KAI: I've killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great politicians, proud young warriors and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak - and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy
KAI: Divine Shadow

(His Divine Shadow comes into view, on the moth platform)

HDS: I feel a loss of power from my predecessors. What have you observed?
KAI: The Divine Predecessors have suffered casualties, but they are now safe
HDS: And why are those who are disloyal to my rule still alive?
KAI: The prophecy, perhaps
HDS: You do not know that word! You have no memory from your life. The protoblood only allows you to do as I instruct
KAI: I have the memory of one of your predecessors, as well as the memories of all those he killed
HDS: Kill them!
KAI: I will not do that
HDS: Then kill yourself!
KAI: I'm already dead
HDS: Then you cannot fulfil the prophecy
KAI: I think - I think you should have listened to your Predecessors, Divine Shadow - or perhaps, not so Divine Shadow, as your Divine Predecessors will now die

(Kai jumps off the bridge, heading for the P Chamber - His Divine Shadow follows)

HDS: No, you will die!

(The Lexx is nearing the fractal core, with the MegaShadow and the attack wing close behind)

OFFICER: Admiral, if we maintain this course it means death
ADMIRAL: Having never before followed anyone into a fractal core I do not know that with certainty
OFFICER: It is composed of antiparticles crushed together by infinite gravity - even light cannot escape its pull
ADMIRAL: I do know with certainty the fate awaiting those who fail to obey His Shadow's orders. We will stay with the Lexx
OFFICER: I worship His Shadow

(The Lexx approaches the fractal core)

ZEV: What is that?
790: That, perfection in the female form, is our destination - a fractal core. Oh universe of danger

(Zev heads for the moth)

STAN: What are you doing?
ZEV: I don't exactly know. Coming?

(Kai swings into the P Chamber. His Divine Shadow follows)

HDS: Die, last of the Brunnen G!

(He fires energy bolts at Kai)

DPS: Kill him, kill him!
HDS: Die, Kai!
DPS: Kill the last of the Brunnen G

(Zev and Stan arrive in the chamber, and start breaking brains, which distracts His Shadow)

HDS: Foolish woman!
DP: Don't hurt me, Divine Shadow!

(Kai cuts His Shadow's head open. The body falls, and the shadow wraps itself around Kai, screaming "Die!" The Lexx goes into the fractal core, and the shadow leaves, as everything goes swirly)

HDS: You will all die!

790: Zev!

(They get through the fractal core safely. Stan goes to break another brain)

KAI: No need, he's gone

(Kai looks at Zev. Zev looks at Kai)

KAI: Thank you
ZEV: You're welcome

(Stan looks at both of them, and realises he doesn't stand a chance)

(They take the moth back to the bridge)

ZEV: Hey Lexx, you did good. 790, sweetheart, you too

(She gives 790 a kiss, then the Lexx is hit by a blast from the MegaShadow)

STAN: The MegaShadow made it through the fractal core too
LEXX: Ouch!

OFFICER: Admiral, if we target the accelerator its energy will be released and the Lexx will be destroyed
ADMIRAL: Target it
OFFICER: The Lexx has directed its ocular parabolae at us
ADMIRAL: The Lexx is not permitted to fire on His Shadow's vessels

(The Lexx powers up, and destroys the MegaShadow)

STAN: Woohoo!
ZEV: Yes!
STAN: But Lexx, that was one of His Shadow's ships
LEXX: Who is His Shadow?
790: I perceived that much of Lexx's memory was erased when we passed through the fractal core
STAN: That's what I call a positive development
ZEV: I say we don't waste any more time. We turn the Lexx around and blow the Cluster into little tiny shadow bits right now. OK propeller head, let's find a course back to the Cluster
790: I have no knowledge of this area, love dumpling
ZEV: What kind of robot are you?
790: I am a robot who wants to live in your underpants, and I have knowledge of all sectors of our universe, but I have no knowledge of this sector of the universe, angel breath
KAI: Welcome to the Dark Zone
ZEV: The Dark Zone?
STAN: We're in the Dark Zone?
ZEV: So, what are we supposed to do now?
KAI: Perhaps you should find yourself a home
STAN: But the Dark Zone is full of depravity and evilness and darkness and -
KAI: My ancestors came from the Dark Zone. I was taught that although there are not many good planets, there are some. Perhaps you should find one
ZEV: You mean, we should find one. We're together in this
KAI: I'm dead. I have no future

(Stan, Zev and Kai are in the cryochamber. The cryopod opens, and Kai gets inside)

KAI: The protoblood will not sustain me for much longer. Be certain of your need before you choose to reanimate me. In the Light Universe, I have been darkness. Perhaps in the Dark Zone, I will be light

(Cryopod closes. Stan and Zev go back to the bridge, and Stan gets up on the pedestal)

STAN: OK, Lexx
ZEV: Let's find ourselves a new home
LEXX: As you command, captain

(His Shadow returns to the brain on top of its pillar)

HDS: Predecessors, I will avenge you.

© Filking Fairy

© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana

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